It really is. I don’t think I’ve ever been on the run for so long, though I’m definitely had more stress and more solid hours of working but in college I did a lot of work in my room. I’m sure my schedule is peanuts compared to many I know, but it is quite a challenge for me to be prepared and maintain energy for all of it. I could get a number of space cadet awards for certain actions these past two weeks but I won’t relate the stories. I am sufficiently humbled.
The school week of Nov. 12-16 was upset by a special workshop, which turned out to be fascinating. I had regular classes Monday and Tuesday then Wednesday through Sunday Eric Mentzel came from the University of Oregon to do a workshop on 12th century chant and polyphony from the Codex Calixtinous. The first day was the first time it rained when I had to go to school and I must have been a sight trying to bike with my poncho. I arrived rather wet, but soon forgot my uncomfortable condition as Eric taught us chants by ear. It was quite a challenge, but the others were good enough (mostly experienced singers) for me to ride along and not feel too overwhelmed. I could repeat small phrases back without trouble but had a hard time keeping the whole melody in my head. I had the unfortunate experience of being rather unsure of the melody but when I was singled out to sing it I struggled through and managed to get it right, though there was no way I would have sung it the same way twice. I say unfortunate because he then thought I new what was going on and could catch on quickly. It didn’t matter in the end. I think I enjoyed the whole thing rather more than the singers because I wasn’t worried about how I sounded – I’m not a singer! I could just soak up the experience and leave the ego at the door. It really is impossible to learn with an ego nearby.
I’d love to write more about what we did but I would also love to get some sleep before starting another crazy week. In a brief summary, he wrote Latin texts on the board and taught us tunes by ear in short bits. He wrote neumes over certain words to help us remember the contour of the melody, and it was amazing how much it helped. Those monks were not stupid. Later he gave out a sheet of more verses and we could mark them as we saw fit. The other days he would teach us things by heart then passed out the music (in square notation) and we practiced singing chants together and divided into smaller groups for duets and trios and solo-choir singing. I have some recordings I hope I’ll find time to post. Eric comes back in April for another workshop and a performance. It’s on my birthday so I should be able to guilt-trip a number of people into attending.
The workshop continued through the weekend, but I only made it to Saturday morning rehearsal because I refuse to do school work on Sunday and Saturday I’d committed to hanging out with the youth of the church. It was certainly a sacrifice to eat subs and homemade ice cream and hang out and play games. We played Dutch Blitz, which was enough like multiple-sol to fill the game-size Thanksgiving whole in my heart.
In the course of the evening I learned that Stephan’s sister was getting ordained the next day so I decided to tag along and see a Swiss service and watch the joyful occasion. I was nervous it would be in Swiss German and leave me clueless, but it was mostly in High German so I could follow quite a bit. It was a cute little church in a town that Stephan will have to remind me of. It was a lovely service and it was fun to try to struggle along with the German hymns where the words are written separately from the music for most of the verses.
Diana and I zipped back to BCF for their pasta lunch, which was fun, of course and I had to get a ride home to get my oboe for Christmas rehearsal. That was one of those space cadet moments that I won’t bother to explain. I’m not quite sure how I managed to be convinced to spend my day of rest from school and music sitting in a music rehearsal, but hey, at least it’s stuff I can play easily and I’m not in charge.
Having been in workshops all week but still having to practice and prepare for the next week of classes left be rather exhausted and unprepared going into the next week (Nov. 19-25). As usual I did my Satzlehre homework the morning of class. I had hoped to set a cool poem to music (like some George MacDonald) but I knew it would take me a long time because the topic is dear to my heart so I opted for something silly and set the first stanza of the Jabberwocky to a chant in Phrygian. It wasn’t the greatest tune, but it lead to N reciting the whole poem for the class, which was funny, because it’s mostly nonsense and they’re not native English speakers . . .
I had lunch with Stephanie Monday afternoon, which was a delight despite the crowded cafeteria. It’s not really a cafeteria, but it’s a restaurant with cheaper prices for students. It scores major points with me since it has pitchers of tap water for free. Every menu comes with salad, soup, bread, and desert – all for 9 Francs! Anyway, the best part was the conversation and encouragement from a fellow Christian student from America. We see a number of things the same way and struggle with some of the same issues.
The sad news of the week was returning the beautiful gothic harp I’d been borrowing in hopes of buying. The price was just too high and I couldn’t justify spending all my savings on the best make of harp money can by. It was hard to say goodbye.
I’m really enjoying notation class as it appeals to my mathematical, puzzle-solving side. We know enough not to be frustratingly lost, but not enough for the decipher work to be monotonous. Fun stuff.
Fiddle class continues to be a challenge because we’re reading notation I haven’t studied, and thus it is hard to read at sight!
A lovely fall day at school.
Ken’s instrumental workshop is always a fun challenge and N and I had a fun experience the previous weekend. We agreed to meet to try to review the estampie we’d learned by ear but the trouble was neither of us could remember the new puncti he taught us (the last two ‘verses’ if you will). I remembered the opening rhythm and intervals and N remembered a three note motive in the middle and as we fooled around with those bits the information provided by the other sparked memories that lead to the perfect reconstruction of the whole thing. It amazed both of us how collective memory could ‘create’ so much information. The whole is not the sum of its parts.
On Tuesday I was too tired to spend so much time and energy at the German Bible study and went to BCF Bible study instead (which had been moved). It was nice, and I managed to get a fair amount of notation homework done during it. It was due Friday and I wouldn’t be in town. That night I woke up and couldn’t sleep so I finished the homework and Brenda’s book. It was nice to be done early, but lack of sleep didn’t really help me.
At Renaissance dance Wednesday evening I jumped into dancing with sticks because I had not been there the week before when they had learned. Imagine cousin B swinging one of his wooden swords around while doing the footwork cousin K used to do. Add another person on the other side whacking the same pattern while the tempo goes into double time. It’s loud, it’s scary, and it’s a whole lot of fun.
Thanksgiving Day and the next four of us took time off for a trip to Geneva. It was the trip to combine all kinds of tasks, which is the best kind. I needed to learn to drive a stick, Stephan was willing to teach me and needed to rent a car to get down to Geneva for a meeting, and we roped two others into coming along for the fun. Stephanie came and Stephan’s friend Andy came also. We got along great, which was good because the weather was rainy and my mood was worse while I was behind the wheel.
Stephan and I picked up the car at 7:30 and I practiced driving until noon. It was rough going, but Stephan was very patient. I’m not sure I appreciate starting on a sloped parking lot, or getting out onto the road and going right into a little village with lots of pedestrians and bicyclists, but as Stephan pointed out, I didn’t hit anything. What he didn’t realize was the incredible tension in my whole body while I tried to avoid disaster. I didn’t realize how uncomfortable I was until I got out and then I made him drive to Geneva while my stomach untied itself.
The lovely Stephanie and me on the trip down.
After checking into the HI hostel we walked around town in the dark and the rain wondering what things were and wishing Stephan was with us to explain. We had a walking guide that told us a little, but it must have been a funny sight watching us trying to decipher the Reformation Wall. I suppose I should have done my homework before. My associates with Geneva and the reformers is still shaped by early childhood memories, which may or may not have anything to do with reality. I think maybe I thought Geneva was someplace in Sweden . . .
The next day we saw the wall again and took a picture with the longest bench in the world. We saw the cathedral with John Calvin’s chair in it and walked through the old town, which looked different in the day and I’m sure looks better in the sun.
Click to see the full picture. I think we're trying to be serious reformers.
After a meal together we headed home and I maneuvered out of Geneva very badly but with the great patience of the passengers. Mom, you can now add driving a stick in the city to the list of things that make me swear. Come to think of it, learning to drive at home was the second thing that made me swear. Making reeds, of course, being the great evil that taught me to swear in the first place.
I learned to navigate curves, but never really got the concept of how one should. It’s fine and well to jump into 12th c. chant and pretend you know what you’re doing, but nobody’s life is in danger if you don’t get it. Ah well, we survived, though I made Stephan drive most of the way back. I couldn’t believe how exhausted I was from the trip and I was very glad to have had the distraction of visiting Geneva in between driving. Well, I can drive in Europe if I must, and that’s what I wanted. Maybe some day I will learn to enjoy it.
Sadly, we got back just with not enough time for me to make the improvised medieval polyphony concert, which was disappointing, but it was rather nice to get home a bit earlier. I’d missed two days of working and the weekend didn’t give me much time for catching up. Saturday morning I met a classmate to go over what we did in class, which happened to be a lot, just my luck. I then went shopping and made parsnips and potatoes plus fudge for the Thanksgiving feat at Diana’s. I’m not sure how 36 of us fit in her apartment, but it was lovely to feast and to visit with everyone. I met an introvert who had no trouble sitting alone at the table while everyone was up and about socializing. I don’t mind it, but then I feel bad that other people might think that I mind it and so then it is tiring. I wonder if I can learn to create my own introvert space in a crowd of people. Then it won’t exhaust me so much to be constantly surrounded by folks. I enjoyed that evening and all the conversation, but it would be a useful skill at school when there are always people about. I must learn to do work and to think and to rest even when I don’t have time to go home. That’s part of what kills me by being at school all day! Ugh, how did I survive high school as an introvert?
Make sure you click to see the whole picture . . .
Richard's creativity at its finest.
Today I spent the afternoon with the Bloms. I was perfectly exhausted physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually and so was no help at all in preparing or cleaning up after lunch. I’m not sure why I came crashing down like I did, but they gave me the wonderful excuse not to feel guilty about it. If someone is always chipper you wonder if they are real. I didn’t need much convincing to simply eat their food and crash on their couch and let them do most of the talking. It was refreshing even for this introvert because I didn’t let myself worry a bit about what I ought to be doing to for the others in the room. It’s good to have friends who let you do that.
I took an hour to get home because I forgot which tram line I was on and ended up walking a good part of the way. I like walking, especially when I need to think. I’m not sure how I will prepare for everything I have this week, but God will provide. It’s been a challenge to keep my eyes focused on Him and though He has blessed me graciously when I’ve managed, it seems I have to struggle for it every day. That’s enough to make one exhausted. Of course, not being part of the hugs and games and sword fights and music making and eating and talking and snuggling with all my aunts and uncles and cousins and siblings and parents and nephews might have a little something to do with it as well. I was so happy to talk to each and every one of them Wednesday night even though it meant another short night. I used to say I hate the phone, but it sure was wonderful to hear everyone’s voice and receive their words of love!
Peace, and keep up those prayers! xxoo
Arriving cold and wet at a class where you imitate 12th century monks seems somehow appropriate....
You must have some of UM's blood -- I notice that Stephanie is bundled up, complete with scarf, and you are wearing a t-shirt. :)
Very cute jack-o-lantern! What is it?
When I learned to drive all we had was a standard transmission car, and I wasn't allowed to swear. I think I still have scars from the gut-wrenching fear. :( I remember stalling repeatedly on a certain steep, uphill right-hand turn at a traffic light and seriously annoying the cars behind me, since it was not a road where they could pass me.... I can drive a stick if needed, but wanting to drive the GT is no temptation to me. :) But gambate! You did it, and you can do it!
You certainly are burning brightly! Please don't flame out....
I forgot to mention that the chant is beautiful! Reminds me of what UM was playing for us as Thanksgiving background music. And the abstract music-video window-and-light motif adds a certain incongruous interest....
I have a long sleeve shirt under that T-shirt and we weren't far from the car.
The jack-o-lantern is made from a clementine skin.
So I just added a long comment and then something funny happened with Internet Explorer. I'm glad you didn't hit anyone with the car on your learning experience. I think trying to learn the rules of the road in a foreign country in addition to learning how to drive a stick would have been too much for me. I enjoyed the picture of the reformers, although I couldn't help but notice that no one (even in the back row) was smiling. Thanks for letting me "live" your adventures through the blog.
The town is Ziefen.
I take 50% of the blame for the cursing bit, because I didn't see that the middle lane was actually a merge lane, which would have helped the situation. (I also wear a T-shirt that curses worse, if that helps.) I suppose I'll have to take Janet for further lessons sometime. Learning how to drive and not enjoying it is like learning the fingering for a tin whistle without being able to tell a hornpipe from a cha-cha-cha.
Speaking of cursing. I swore in German today in front of Veronika and another sweet Swiss lady. They were shocked. It just slipped out because I hear it all the time and it doesn't sound bad to me. I know how shocking it is to hear a foreigner swear in your own language. I really need to be more careful. I thin I really shocked Veronika - how horrible!
I wouldn't mind another lesson. I find the fight coming back into me - I'm not going to let a silly thing like driving get the better of me!
Welcome back from Ireland.
The only problem is getting an appropriate car. Maybe we can rent one of the RIA vehicles at cut-rate (or a tank of gas), though they'll be harder to drive (heavier, bigger, and less oomph/lb). My parents only have an automatic; mobility only allows members to drive their cars; straight renting is a bit exy.
Back to cursing: I was wearing the T-shirt in question last night, which is why despite being a bit heated from biking I didn't take off my sweater...
I'd like to say something about the swearing. I'm not sure exactly where
your thoughts are on this, but it seems that the general flavor of post and comments is to treat it casually. But I think it is important to guard our tongues and be careful of what we say.
In cases where you haven't been careful and an inappropriate word has slipped out of your mouth, you should examine why and work towards curbing it in the future. For example, in the case of German where "I hear it all the time and it doesn't sound bad to me" you need to train yourself to think of it as bad and something you would never want to say. In the case of the driving, you can see that times of stress also bring it out.
Train yourself to have other things to say in those kinds of situations.
I've been training out of my vocabulary even many swear word substitutions. Why? Well, I see them in a different light when I hear them coming out of the mouth of a three or four year old. If I don't want him saying those things, I shouldn't say them either. This started when Jonathan repeated "Oh my gosh" after I said it. I personally have been trying to make "Oh, no!" the only negative expletive that I say. I heard Jonathan say "darn it" the other day which reminded me that I've been slack
recently in that area.
I'm not a fan of reserving certain language for certain circles, because if you are in the habit of using it somewhere, it's likely that some circumstance will bring it out of you in the wrong place. If it is not in your thoughts, it won't come out of your mouth, even accidentally. It takes time to purge it from your thoughts, but you can do it.
I've been memorizing Ephesians 4:29-5:2 to remind me of pure speaking. These verses are so much more than about swearing, but certainly include it.
"Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption. Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil
speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another,
even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you. Be ye therefore followers of God, as dear children; And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweetsmelling savour."
And I hope you receive this as I intend, with love. I had originally meant to leave the issue alone, but the other night kept myself awake composing this comment in my head, so I think it's important enough to bring up.
Our Lord is amazing. Last night at Bible study (I skipped German for BCF because people will be leaving for the holidays and I want to squeeze in time with them) the issue of church discipline and accountability came up. It was a rather intense discussion (even compared to normal!) and I said that I would appreciate correction in love and that in most of my adult life it has been lacking. I don't always agree with my sister, but I have more respect for her than is possible to express. Thank you for sharing in love what you are convinced in the Lord is right. Yes, I think of swearing rather casually (if it happens oops oh well) and thus was particularly embarrassed because Veronika was so shocked and thinks of me as a sweet Christian girl who would never do such a thing. I tend to think other things are more important, but you are right it is a completely different issue when you add the nephews to the picture!
The other problem, which is big but hard to explain, is that I am in 'assimilate' mode. That is how I learn language and as in Japan, it means picking up all sorts of words, facial expressions, gestures, and habits. I think this ability to assimilate helps me a great deal with languages, it is also very dangerous (not just because I pick up bad words). I don't know how to turn on the good part without the bad.
So, practically, I'd like to stop being exasperated by little sudden things (I never swear 'intentionally'). I used to say "sheesh" but unfortunately that is the start of the word that's not nice to say in German.
I think the most important thing is to be firm and at peace in the Lord. It is when I am frazzled and stressed that I'm on edge and things that don't go right startle me, i.e. when I desperately need a good reed and my knife slips or when I'm stuck in an intersection and stall the car. I have come ahead lightyears in not taking everything so seriously, not expecting myself to do everything perfectly, and relaxing and enjoying everything I do. Still, some things have control over me and I can't fix that in a day, so how do I hold my tongue? I'll start by deciding it's something I'd like to stop and maybe that's enough to see if it subconsciously prevents any outbursts. I don't think I use very many substitutes, but you know, if I listen to myself this week I bet I'll be surprised. There are at least two people who read this blog who can be encouraging witnesses as well. :)
Thank you, dear sister. I love you and thank God for you and your family!
Aaaah, these comments have Li'l Writer Guy straining at the bit, but I'll have to write in pieces as breaks in between other work...though I've just made a decision that might buy me a little justification for writing. I put the Netflix DVD in the mail without having watched the third of three episodes. It seems a waste, but I already knew from the first two that it won't serve the purpose I was hoping for (shows about history from which Jonathan could glean something but which wouldn't bore his parents). I could have gained something from the last episode, I'm sure, but I made the decision that it wasn't as important as other things -- such as this blog comment. I've been reading a book recently that convinces me that the sculpture of our life is as much about what we carve away as what we add, you see....
Anyway, the point. As difficult as this may be for some to believe, I grew up in a home where no one swore. Ever. Not by anyone's definition. I'm more grateful for this than I can say, even though as I write it I find H.M.S. Pinafore stealing unbidden to mind. :) Of the consequences of this happy upbringing I'll mention two, one good and one bad. The good one is that habit works strongly in my favor (though not always successfully) in my efforts to keep my language civil. On the negative side, though, it did give "dirty words" a certain delightful attraction. It's not that my parents made a big deal about not swearing -- they didn't even mention it. But a schoolchild can't help being made aware of the existence of words that even the dictionary wouldn't print (back then), and of the attractive shock value they had. Not that I would have dared try them out in front of my parents, but they did enter into my thought life in an unhealthy way. Today's kids are pretty much immune from that, I think -- though I suppose that means they only find worse ways to shock their elders....
There are so many, divergent, ideas wrapped up in the idea of "swearing." The word on Stephan's t-shirt is just a word, and I have a hard time understanding why we should imbue it with more power than its perfectly acceptable synonyms. Except in acknowledging that it is offensive to some people and therefore we should take care who our audience is. And, as Heather rightly points out, banishing it altogether is the best way to be sure it doesn't show up uninvited to the party.
Still, I'll admit to treating such occasional swearing lightly, as in the case of B.'s reaction at choir. He is almost always good-natured and cheerful, and does not offend with his speech. His swearing was not directed at anyone, and most of all there was no ill-will nor anger behind it. Much more serious to me are words spoken in anger, hatred, or disrespect, even if they are otherwise acceptable. Combined with offensive words this is worse, of course, but it's the attitude I find most troublesome, even with euphemisms.
I also find a huge difference -- though the world often sees the opposite way -- between the merely scatological and the offensive or inappropriate references to God. The one I can take casually, the other hurts too much.
I agree with Heather that euphemisms are little better than the originals when it comes to swearwords. Really, why is "oh, shoot!" any better if it reflects the same attitude? (Except, I confess, that I'd rather hear that than the other.) "Oh my goodness!" is a phrase I'm trying to eliminate from my speech, but it's harder than I thought. And is "Oh, my!" any better? Maybe. Maybe not. When is it legitimate to find inoffensive ways to express surprise, shock, or exasperation, and when it is more important to work on our own attitudes and reactions? Maybe a combination of both. "[T]he most important thing is to be firm and at peace in the Lord" -- amen, that would help a great deal!
One of the many ways in which children bless us is in making us see with new eyes the bad habits we've learned to tolerate in ourselves. :)
The comment about being in "assimilate mode" reminds me of something C.S. Lewis said -- I think in The Discarded Image, though I'm not sure. He was talking about the importance, when seeing a work of art (painting, drama, music, literature, etc.), of taking it in on its own terms, of listening to what it has to say, before judging it. As a teacher and professor of literature, he certainly appreciated the importance of criticism and had no trouble labelling some works bad and others good. But "assimilate mode" comes first.
Thank you for taking it in love and thanks Mom for your comments, too. And while I'm at it, thanks Stephan for only referencing that infamous shirt after I objected to your printing of its message the first time.
You're welcome.
A friend in college once said that "junk" was my swear word. I hadn't noticed that I was using it like that. So, I stopped. As someone(s) said above, I think if the attitude is there, it is pretty much the same thing, and I suppose that even carries over whether the words are spoken or not.
I have come a long way, but still have more to go in controlling/eliminating anger from my life.
I've been observing myself and I do have some similar mild swear words, but I've been pleasantly surprised that I don't say them that often and am calm enough when I do I can stop myself. Much of that is due to the fact that I'm not as stressed as I used to be (though it's still easy to fall into old thinking patterns). Now it's just those stressful situations that I somehow need to learn to control, but I don't think I'll worry much about it since the general trend in my life is to be less stressed anyway the difficult spots will come with time.
