Praise the Lord my life is in His hands. Praise the Lord he never gives up on me! No sooner do I learn about and begin to focus on a new and wonderful teaching of God that I forget something important. In my recent attempts to release my burdens and abide in the Lord it’s been so lovely to rely on Him in the day-to-day and to watch Him prove so faithful. My spirit was light and my days were joy to walk yoked with Jesus. Alas, I turned away and what was left was the knowledge that I’m not walking fully with him and the remembrance of when I did and the guilt that I couldn’t and didn’t want to come back! My prayers were empty and God was far. Every task in the day loomed large an ominous before me. What is wrong with me?
Through God’s providence I’m leading Bible study tonight and while reading through the catechism questions I came to “How doth Christ execute the office of a priest? Christ executeth the office of a priest, in his once offering up of himself a sacrifice . . . and reconcile us to God, and in making continual intercession for us.” I made a note to ask people what this reconciliation and continual intercession looks in their daily lives and I thought about how I used to confess my sins and be forgiven at least every Sunday in church (I love how liturgy covers every aspect of being a Christian every Sunday and covers each part in detail once a year), but how long had it been since I confessed my sings out loud with my mouth? Many times I confessed my weakness and my sinful nature, but specific sins? I spoke out loud to God and voiced my specific sins not as part of my sinful nature, not as a person not yet perfected, but as a person who had willfully and specifically sinned against God and man. Behold! The cloud was lifted and I was restored to God once again! How could I forget such a fundamental doctrine as the forgiveness of sins? No matter, God is ever by my side. I truly am weakness, and foolishness and stubbornness, but the Lord is my shepherd. How faithful He is! How patient! How does He ever hope to get anything done with me trying to do His work? God is not limited by me. Amen! What a joy, what an honor, to be allowed to take part in His work. How incredible that God can and will actually make me ever more fit to serve Him, even as I stumble and fall, and mess it up. He promises to restore and redeem and complete the good work he has begun in me. My sins forgiven, my soul clean, I rest once more in God’s bossom, His beloved child robed in the righteousness of Christ! And I’m worried about what’s going to happen in the next two weeks of my earthly life?!
Wow—what a beautiful post. Again, I was thinking similar things—I wanted to say a few days ago, but when I went to my journal discovered it was yesterday! I was reading Ps. 32 (http://www.gnpcb.org/esv/search/?q=Psalm+32), and thought through it like this (this is thinking "out loud," thus the "It doesn't mean this or that oh wait I guess it really does mean that"!):
This is really as much about confession as about forgiveness. “Blessed is the man ... in whose spirit there is no deceit”—what does that mean? “When I kept silent, my bones wasted away,” but “I acknowledged my sin to you, and I did not cover up my iniquity.” And then the equation: “I said, ‘I will confess my transgressions to the Lord,’ and you forgave the iniquity of my sin.”
What’s that about? What’s the point of confession? We all know from Jonah that it’s just silly to even imagine keeping a secret from God. Even here I don’t think David thinks that—“day and night your hand was heavy upon me...” Soooo the point of confession isn’t to inform God… neither, at least in this context, is it about the body of believers; they’re not mentioned. It’s just about David & God. The easy assumption is “it’s not for God’s benefit, it’s for us,” but that doesn’t make much sense either, since we know we’ve sinned… nonetheless, I think this is the best sense. “…in whose spirit is no deceit,” duplicity, double-mindedness… translation, hide your sin from yourself (under the subconscious impression that you’re hiding it from God), it goes badly with you. “Bring” it into the light, you get forgiveness and restoration.
I'm glad this post ended with that happy ending. :) Certainly, if it had been that first paragraph only, there would have been plenty of goodness of God to find there—one of the most encouraging things I've ever read is this (as long as I'm linking to Desiring God all over the place): "In a prior stage that we often taste, we do not feel fullness, but rather longing and desire. Having tasted the feast before, we recall the goodness of the Lord-but it seems far off. We preach to our souls not to be downcast, because we are sure we shall again praise the Lord (Psalm 42:5). Yet for now our hearts are not very fervent.
Even though this falls short of the ideal of vigorous, heartfelt ad oration and hope, yet it is a great honor to God. We honor the water from a mountain spring not only by the satisfied "ahhh" after drinking our fill, but also by the unquenched longing to be satisfied while still climbing to it." (Check out the context too at http://www.desiringgod.org/dg/id45.htm in the section "Three stages of worship," halfway down the page—it's worth it.)
BUT this ending is so much nicer. :)
Okay, this has nothing to do with any other post. But I just discovered the most remarkable harp CD, and didn't know any other harpists to tell about. (Mind, I'm not quite sure whether it's remarkable in a good way or not. You decide.) Artist Catrin Finch, album Crossing the Stone. I noticed it because of her cover of the last mvt. of Steve Reich's Electric Counterpoint! The rest of the tracks range from celtic harp to symphonically backed standards like Ave Maria, to Chick Corea, Astor Piazzolla, Steve Reich as mentioned, and an electro-pop setting of the cursed "Palladio." I'm not sure what to make of all that, but it's certainly not the harp I'm used to. (At times she sounds almost more like an mbira!) You can hear samples at amazon (I'd post the link, but it's wery, wery long.)
Here's the link (in a neater way so it doesn't look so wery, wery, long). I tried to picture how fast her fingers were moving on Queen of Sheba but it boggled my mind.
It's interesting indeed. Some of the ideas are good, but somehow it doesn't all come together. I've always had a problem with taking a classical piece and putting a rhythm section behind it. It's uncreative and doesn't work well. I like how she gets that mbira sound, though. I read an essay where the author proposed that such a manner of playing is what made harping in ancient times so enchanting. I'll have to ask David when I get to heaven.
I'm working on a response to the Desiring God quote. It's hard to keep up with you! :)
"I'm working on a response to the Desiring God quote. It's hard to keep up with you! :)"
I certainly appreciate all the great discussion here—but want you to know that I also appreciate hearing about the more mundane parts of what's going on in your life....
Indeed. Since I have a tendency to respond to everything (exhibit A: current comment), it could escalate quickly. I might even humbly suggest that the "more mundane" parts of your life are the raison d'etre of this blog, not just for vicarious tourists like me, but for a family that appreciates any details that make their favorite adventurer seem less like she's on the other side of a lot of water and time zones.
Andy, you are remarkably perceptive for someone who has never had a far-away child. :) When I think of those explorers, missionaries, businessmen, and immigrants who had no more than very rare letters for contact with home -- and often less than that -- I am all the more grateful for the Internet, cheap phone service, e-mail, and inexpensive flights...even if they all come with a down side.
Just so you know, I always look forward to your comments. Janet's not the only one who is thrilled by all the activity on her blog.
Aww, thanks. See, I've been a far-away child—as far as Rochester, at least.
