IrishOboe

By popular demand, here are some photos.  I purposely didn't straighten everything up because even though my desk is mostly clean, there's nearly always an odd or end I haven't taken care of yet.

Overview of my desk.

Blue Drawer Detail

Inbox and Action List detail.  I use the At Home and At Computer the most, so they are in their own slot.  All others sit below it.

Tickler.  A have a few folders of reference material I access a lot and want handy (i.e. not in the general reference file).  This includes the trash/recycling plan and the paper where I jot down notes for the blog that mostly become part of bullet updates.

Project Folders.  I reduced these down to two in preparation for the baby.  Normally I have 6-10.

General reference files.  No pretty, but functional.  One step at a time!

At Computer and At Home action lists.  I normally don't prioritize, but I put stars down the right side for things that HAD to be done before the birth.  Otherwise I'd be tempted with all the things I'd LIKE to do before birth.

Detail showing how the plastic sleeves works.

Thanks for watching! Hope this makes some things clearer.

(These photos refer to blog posts "Life In Review: Celebrating Two Years of Tickler Success: Part I, Part II and Part III.)

(This is continued from Part I and Part II)

The System (Continued)

1. General File System (see Part II)
2. Tickler (see Part II)
3. Calendar (see Part II)
4. Actions Lists.  These lists sit right at hand in slots directly under my inbox.  These are not your ordinary “to do” lists.  They are lists designed to make a spare moment as productive as possible.  Now that I’m a stay-at-home-mom the main lists I use are “At Home.” “At Computer,” and “With Stephan.”  I also have an “Errands” and “Calls” list and I still have a “With People” “At Anywhere” and a “Waiting For” list, but I don’t use them as much anymore.  As you can see the lists are divided by location or necessary ‘equipment,’ such as the computer, a phone, or a specific person.  This means whenever I am in a specific place, with a specific person, or have the use of a specific devise I can use the time immediately and effectively because I can pull out a list of things relevant to that situation.  The only thing I need to decide and scan for is the best item to pick given the time I have, my energy level, and the importance of the task.  There is no order to the list, I just add and check off as I go along.  I really appreciate the GTD idea that you can’t prioritize now what needs to be done tomorrow – priorities are always changing because you never know when a child will get sick or the weather will turn too beautiful to stay inside.  The decision of what to do with my time is made at each moment fairly effortlessly because the state of affairs is always at my fingertips.  I LOVE the sense of freedom and peace this gives me!  I can fully enjoy playing with Joseph, or taking the time for a friend knowing that nothing pressing is waiting to get done.  I can also more easily refuse an invitation or tell a friend I cannot talk at the moment because I know exactly what is waiting to be done and why it needs to get done.  Then I can DO it because each item on an Action List is carefully kept to one simple step and all necessary information or tools is referenced or in the plastic sleeve itself.  For example, I have a entry on my “At Computer” list that says to research an exercise class for those recovering from birth.  A simple (ss) after the entry tells me to “see sheet” and in the plastic sleeve there is the brochure for the class with the website on it.  If the items are listed well there is no need to procrastinate because I need to do something before I can do the task itself.  It’s just one step and I can check it off, though of course usually a task generates another task, but you can at least check something off right away.  Let me give an example from inbox to action list.  A lady at church gave me her number because she offered to help out once the baby arrived.  Before, the number would sit on my desk waiting for me to have the guts to make the phone call (and most of you know that’s a HUGE barrier for me).  With the system, the piece of paper got tossed into my inbox right after church.  When I processed my inbox I asked myself “What is the very next babystep that needs to happen with this?”  For some, just putting it on the “calls” list would be enough, but not for me.  I decided to put an item on my “At Home” list that says “plan a get-to-know-you meeting with (name) so she can help with the baby when here. (ss)” and then chucked the phone number paper in the plastic sleeve.  Once I do this task (which is just thinking) I’ll have a clearer vision of what I want to say when I call her up, so I can then put an entry on my “Calls” list that states specifically (in brief) what I will say and ask when I make the call.  Then when I have a moment of peace by the phone I can look at my “Calls” list (or I may decide to schedule the call) and everything I need is there: the name, the number, and basically what I want to say.  Now there is very little to keep me from just holding my breath, picking up the phone and getting the call done.  Of course for some that is ‘way too many steps for a simple phone call, but for me, it’s what I need to actually get it done with as little guilt and little time as possible.  At least this way things keep moving bit by bit rather that stagnating and building up inertia and a “oh that task - I really don’t want to do that one” stigma.  As I wrote that last sentence (pointless aside: I really dislike it when authors write things like that in their prose, but I’m a blogger just trying to get some ideas down before bedtime) Stephan interrupted me with a question and it reminded me that I wanted to give some money to a certain cause.  I could have written the task down directly on a list, but because I like to make the items on my list as simple and easy to do as possible I prefer to jot down the thought and toss it in my inbox.  Soon enough I’ll process the inbox and be able to do the necessary thinking to properly prepare for taking action.  At the moment, I don’t want to take that time away from the precious computer time I have to get my thoughts down for the blog.  Besides, I’d get derailed.  Now where was I?  Action lists.  That pretty much explains them.  When the paper gets full (one single column of tasks) I review each remaining task and either transfer it to a new sheet of paper, rewrite it because I’m procrastinating on it for some reason and have to identify a smaller first step, or decide it’s no longer necessary and cross it off.  A list that’s getting full inspires taking care of lingering tasks so I don’t have to transfer them, and the lists always stay pretty and clear.  No more scraps of chicken scratch lists still lying around because there’s one or two items still not complete!
5. Project Folders:  These folders sit on my desk also within easy reach.  Like the general reference files, each one is just a manila-type folder with a post-it label.  Because they are active folders they are at-hand rather than filed (aka buried) with the reference folders.  David Allen of “Getting Things Done” defines a project as anything with more than one discrete task.  I’m a bit looser with the definition and generally define a project as anything where the discrete tasks don’t flow naturally one to the next and thus need some level of organization.  My example of receiving the phone number from the lady at church is a good example.  I made it more than one step, but I don’t need to make a project folder for it because each next step is fairly obvious to me.  Other projects need more organization, for example, I had a “Christmas” project folder in which I organized everything for the holiday and surrounding activities.  When it came time to think about Christmas, I made a folder and started with a brainstorming session.  I use the Natural Planning Method suggested in GTD.  First define the purpose and principles (and write them down on a clean sheet of paper with the project name as a heading) then jot down your vision – what would WILD SUCCESS look like?  Don’t worry, this doesn’t violate the “good enough is better than perfect” principle – this is just a brainstorm, not a “to do” list.  It helps to define what’s important to you want if you let yourself dream big.  Next is the “brainstorm” where you jot down every idea that comes to mind without judging it – just let the ideas flow from mind to paper.  Cutting and choosing comes later.  I usually do those three steps at the same time and then feel pretty tired but much better because all my ideas and worries and “must remember to do this” thoughts are captured in a place where I know they won’t be forgotten.  Later I do the “organization” phase where I evaluate all or some of the brainstorm ideas (depending on how big the project is this can take several iterations), prioritize them, and break them down into “next actions” so I can enter them into my Action Lists.  Not every project needs quite that much organization and thought.  I have a master project list that sits with the project folders and is called “Current Projects: List and Loose” where I keep a master list of all the currently ACTIVE projects.  I box the ones that have their own project folder so I can see the state of things at a glance.  An example of a project that doesn’t need a folder is renewing my alien card.  There were a number of different documents I had to gather from difference sources so it was a multi-step project I didn’t want to loose sight of but it was pretty straight forward and didn’t have lots of papers associated with it so it didn’t need a brainstorm or a separate folder.  Whew!  If you’re still with me, I’m impressed!
6. Trash or Recycling: Nothing fancy here – just get rid of guilt and clutter!

 

The system needs review, tweaking, and general work against entropy, but that can wait for another time.  Basically, the system breaks everything down into such little pieces that when things start to unravel all you have to do is pick one of the pieces to bring back to speed and you can move onto the next and get everything back in order fairly easily.  Now when I feel life is getting too scattered, the system is fraying and I feel like I need to “just get my head together” I can take an hour or so and really get my head together.  I don’t let myself DO any task, I just get things back into an orderly state so I have proper perspective on what there is to do and have peace about where I stand and how I’ll move forward (and the courage to cut things if it’s really too much!).  What peace!

My email system/inbox doesn’t work quite as well, but it’s getting there.

And there you have it, my life exposed.  If you got through it all I hope you found some of it useful!  All the best at finding the system that works for you!

Photos

(This post is continued from Part I)

The System

On bad days I do very little work in the system, but I almost always make sure I clean up for the next day.  It doesn’t take much, I just pick up the floors and go through the stuff on my desk, most of which I just throw into my inbox.  The inbox is the place for everything without a place.  On bad days, it’s so lovely to have an inbox to collect all that comes my way and still keep a relatively clean place.  Lunch is burning, Joseph needs me, and I remember something I mustn’t forget.  No problem, I just jot a note and throw it in my inbox – lunch and Joseph can wait that long.

Even on bad days I (almost) always check my Tickler and plan the next day before I go to bed.  It doesn’t take much time because most of the thinking has been done already and there are just reminders in my calendar and Tickler and I try to be very realistic about what I can accomplish in a day.  Usually I stick to what has been scheduled and add just one, most important thing that would make a big impact if I got it done (thanks Tim Ferris).  Just ONE.  That’s hard, but if I stick to it, it is surprisingly effective.  I can’t use the many things on my “to do” lists to procrastinate on what is most important and I end the day feeling good about what I’ve accomplished because it was, after all, important.  Besides, I often end up getting more done than that one thing because once that one thing is out of the way I get a burst of productive energy (like when you’ve finally turned in that paper that’s been hanging over your head).

In order for the inbox to work, it MUST NOT breed mosquitoes.  It must not stagnate.  I have varying success with this, but a few keys keep the turnover going.

1. Processing the inbox does NOT mean doing it means THINKING.
2. Pick up ONE item and THINK.  You must decide what the very next thing that should be done with it, but you don’t have to DO it.  In fact, you shouldn’t do it unless it would take less time to do it than to write it down into the system.
3. Do NOT put the item down and say “I’ll decide later.”  Decide on each item before moving on to the next.  Often this shows me that I really don’t want or need to take the time to do whatever it is so I chuck it – no guilt and no mess on the desk!
4. Regularly process the inbox so it doesn’t pile up.  I find it works well to go through some of the inbox while my computer is booting.  I usually empty it before Windows is ready for me.  (Something positive about the “Bill Gates tax.”)

Just this much keeps my desk space clean and pretty and keeps me “in the know” with all I have to do and I have peace of mind that nothing important is languishing someplace in the clutter.

On bad days you can see that almost nothing gets done accept one key thing: I’m prepared for the next day.  I used to crash into bed exhausted and unsure how I’d survive the next day.  Now I go to bed confident that I have a decent shot at it and a clean house and desk to great me in the morning to boot.  That is quite a gift.

Many days I don’t have much time to get to anything but the planned tasks because I have a beautiful son whose growth requires plenty of investment, but usually I can be there for him with my full attention because I know where I stand and know just what does and does not need to get done that day.  On these days the house stays clean, the family is fed by a calm mama who has taken some time to rest during the day, and I go to bed ready for the next day.  That didn’t used to be the norm.  In the past I would have called that a very good day.

On good days the systems really shines.  Just an unexpected hour to myself and I can rip through so many tasks because it is all ready and prepared for me.  Here’s how I work it.

Each paper item from my inbox goes into one of the following places: a general file system, my personal diary (calendar), the tickler, an action list, a project folder, or the trash.  Non-paper items get put away or assigned a new home.  Here I’ll focus on paper since that’s most of what’s coming in on a daily basis anyway.  There isn’t the time and space to write about how I got the system up and running and the many iterations of tweaking I’ve done to make it suit my needs, but if you’re interested in hearing more I’ll be happy to share!

 

1. The General File System: We have a lovely four-drawer file cabinet we got on ebay, so we have no guilt in being “wasteful” with our file system.  We use the equivalent of manila folders with a post-it for a label.  This makes it easy to make a new folder and to recycle folders in a jiffy since we don’t bother with hanging folders (though there are some here and there to keep things up upright).  There’s a folder for each different item or related documents.  It was SO hard at first to make a folder for one piece of paper, but it is much easier to find things when they are not grouped and headed and sub-foldered, if that’s a word.  The whole system is A-Z and folder are labeled by topic, person, project, or company with no more than one subcategory (for example Garden:Ideas and Garden: Catelogues; not Free Time:Janet:Garden:Ideas).  I don’t have to get up from my chair to reach the materials for making a folder and at first I had the “topic, person, project or company” reminder with the materials as well since my conservationist tendency is to save materials by grouping things together.  Stephan and I use the same file system and since it’s purely alphabetical without many sub-categories it doesn’t take us long to find the other’s stuff even if it’s not exactly how we’d do it ourselves.  Currently it’s not the prettiest, but it’s very functional, so we’re happy.  Another important thing to remember is that NO ACTIONABLE ITEMS get FILED!  It is a reference system.  Things that have actions attached to them should not get buried here.
2. My Personal Diary (Calendar).  My wallet also has a calendar in it so I have it with me at all times.  I used to have a Palm, but I prefer paper now.  The calendar is used in the obvious ways, but I also use it for my nightly planning.  I write down those essential tasks for the next day with a box next to each item so I can check them off as I go.  This leaves quite a cluttered look, but only for the past.  Future events are clear.
3. The Tickler: A box of 43 “manila” folders labeled for each day of the month and each month of the year that sits on my desk immediately handy and visible.  There is then always a separate folder for day 30 days from now and each month 12 months from now, which for me is plenty for filing any date-specific papers that come in.  I’m a stickler about the Tickler.  Except for some things in the coming week I ONLY use it for DATE-SPECIFIC events.  I do not want my tickler getting filled with “hope to get to” items and nasty “you have to do this day” surprises that would make me not want to check it religiously.  It doesn’t work if you don’t check it every day, so I didn’t want to set myself up for failure.  I check the tickler every evening for the next day.  I have a paperclip on the following Monday so I can easily see the days of the week for the next week.  On good days I take care of each piece of paper, on bad days the planning consists of dumping the tickler contents into my inbox and heading off to bed. Examples of good tickler items are:

1)      Invitations to events that include directions or other information that I’ll need on the day but not before.  The date is in my calendar so I know it’s coming up, but the relevant papers are making a mess of my desk asking to be lost before I need them.  When the date approaches there’s what I need neat and ready.

2)      Bills. Stephan uses his tickler to collect all the incoming bills because he always pays them on a certain day.  He doesn’t waste time logging into e-banking every time a bill comes in and he doesn’t miss bills because the tickler reminds him of his “bill day” with a stack of bills that are easy to enter in all at once.

3)      Photos and other “pick-me-ups”.  I have photos of loved ones that I haven’t framed but I don’t want to get rid of.  Stephan had the brilliant idea of dropping them randomly in my tickler for happy reminders in the future.  They brighten my day but don’t add to the “to do” list.

4)      “This about this later.”  This can be dangerous, but there are some things that are not appropriate for now but that might become relevant later.  Information about theater productions in Luzern might be better filed in the general reference system so I can get to it whenever it strikes me, even though I don’t think I’ll have a chance for a while because of children, but a gardening catalogue might be a good thing to put in the tickler a few months before spring to remind me to order seeds and plan the garden.  BE CAREFUL!  The tickler has 43 places for papers to get lost, so don’t put anything in a random spot that you might want to reference at some other time – it’s awfully difficult to find something in all of those papers!

5)      I do use the tickler for some “hope to” items when planning a week in advance.  I have recurring cards for laundry and vacuuming, phone calls and prayer requests that aren’t exactly date-dependent, but I want to get to with some frequency.  For example, I have a card called “Joseph Swim” and after each swim I record the date on the back of the card so I have an easy record and then toss it in the next few days when I think I’ll be able to take him again.  I like the sense of accomplishment making check marks gives me, so I love writing the date as a sort of “check” and seeing at a glance how often we’ve swum.  If I had a log on the computer it would be another thing to procrastinate on.

(Part III explains Action Lists and Project Folders and sums things up)

Photos

The end and beginning of the year are full of celebrations for us: birthdays, anniversaries of weddings and baptisms, and this year, January 1^st also marks the second full year of using a Tickler system.  I check it faithfully every evening before bed and have never fallen behind.  GTD (Getting Things Done) and Flylady came into play later (2010 and 2011 respectively) but with these three elements my life is most significantly easier, more organized, and most importantly or me, more peaceful psychologically.  I used to refuse to go out and have fun because I had to “just get my head together” and by that I mean somehow figure out just what I have to do and how I’m going to get it done.  No matter what I did I still ended up stressed and not having my “head together.”  I could enjoy time off only by suppressing the worry I always carried inside me that I was missing something very important somewhere in the piles of papers and scribbled “To Do” lists lying scattered here and there.  My desk was never clean, and my room hardly either.  I did not enjoy this state, but frantic “I can’t stand this anymore” clean-ups would quickly deteriorate into chaos once more.  I wish I could go into all the psychological aspects of living a disorganized life and switching to an organized one, but I doubt I could sufficiently express it, that too many people would be interested in it, and besides, this post will be quite too long enough as it is.

 

This is a post written mostly for my own reference.  I’ve documented how I organize and run my life so I can look back later and see how things have changed and improved.  If you are interested in such details, read on.  Otherwise, feel no guilt in skipping.

 

Important Ideas to Live By

 

1. A place for everything and everything in its place.  It’s a great saying, but finding a place for everything is the main challenge for me.  GTD inspired the idea that there should be a place for EVERYTHING, even the smallest scrap of paper, and helped me find ways to make a logical place for each thing.  Also, it helps MAKE me make a place for everything.  Not everything is in its ideal place yet, but everything is in the “system” and has a safe place for now (i.e. no important papers sitting in a random pile).
2. Babysteps.  Break everything down into the smallest psychological step.  It might sound inefficient, but when procrastination, fear, and a guilty conscience are at play, the only way to keep a mole hill from becoming a mountain is to break everything down into babysteps.
3. Do right away that which does not get easier with time.  In other words, clean up after yourself right away (prime example: dishes).  Even if you have to make the baby wait.  Better yet, make the baby help you clean up the toys before naptime, then you have clean floors the moment he’s down for his nap!  It also makes the morning Quick Sweep a breeze – and now my floors are always clean!  (My Quick Sweep is a dance with the broom as fast as I can in the main traffic areas.  It takes less than 10 minutes and gets rid of 90% of the dirt and dust. Thanks Flylady!)
4. Don’t do something right away just because you can.  Get it all in your system first, then you know what’s to be done and can judge with a clear mind what is the best use of your time at the moment.  It also makes schedule rest and rejuvenation possible.
5. Good enough is better than perfect.  A difficult concept at first, this is “perfect” advice for a perfectionist.  Ask yourself, just how well does this task need to be completed?  What is the minimum effort that will be “good enough.”  Save your energy and perfectionism for things that really count.
6. You can’t organize clutter.  From Flylady: don’t organize it, get rid of it!  As I cleaned up I used to think “what could I use this for?” and now I think “can I possible do without this?” and it has made it so much easier to pare down our possessions to a manageable amount in the small space we have.
7. Make it run by itself.  Think once, then go on autopilot.  Get the mundane running along with minimal effort so you can put your mind and soul into important things.  Housecleaning routines like the Quick Seep and Swish and Swipe (a 2 minute bathroom job) in the morning keep the house “company ready in 15 minutes” (Flylady), are easy to keep up once they are habit, and treat your family (and yourself) to clean house all the time.  What a gift!  The GTD system does the same for managing maintenance in other parts of life.
8. Never do for a child what he can do for himself. –Glenn Doman  This helps me remember to ask myself, “Can Joseph do this himself?” and to take the time and patience to give him the chance to try.  Now at 18 months he can pick up his toys (still with help, but sometimes without being asked), eat with a fork or spoon, dump his potty in the toilet and flush, help with the laundry, and other things that will soon save me lots of time and effort.  Without this saying, it’s just easier to do it myself – but what a trap that will be later on in life!
9. Open your eyes.  I don’t know what to call this one, but Flylady’s challenge to always keep my sink shiny did the eye-opening trick for me.  My sister once said that one difference between a ‘cleany’ and a ‘messy’ (I don’t know the book she got it from) was that if something is out of place it starts to blend into the surroundings for a ‘messy’ until she no longer sees it, but for a ‘cleany’ it sticks out more and more each day.  How do you train yourself to see?  That is a tough one.  Somehow having a beautiful sink and knowing that I’d have to wipe it down every evening before bed made me see the dirty dishes better (crazy?) and that lead to wanting to get them done sooner and success with a pretty sink led to my eyes being opened on all fronts.  I don’t keep a very shiny sink anymore, but its done its duty (thanks, Flylady).

Part II Comming Soon (I hope)

Part III

Photos

Dates are not always accurate, as in some of the things Joseph started doing well before I finally wrote them down, but they’re not more than a month or so off.

Aug 16: Joseph points to things he wants and then asks for them politely by signing his “please/I want/yes/etc.” sign of clapping his hands.  Is that his first sentence?  This was also the first day back from vacation and we went right back into EC and had no misses (just one in his diaper after his nap).  The following days weren’t so good, but he hasn’t forgotten everything.

Aug 23^:  Joseph is in an annoying phase that shows his understanding of the forbidden.  When he does something he’s not supposed to he says “nei, nei, nei” (German “nein” for no).  On the one hand, it gives me a clue if I’m in another room that he’s doing something naughty, but on he other, he still does the thing he’s not supposed to!  Yet phases come and go quickly, now (Sept. 4) he is much better at obeying my vocal commands, though he still needs constant reminders.  Funny how just a few months ago it seemed impossible to teach him to obey.  Something worked, maybe!

Joseph has added a number of signs and words to his vocabulary.  His sign for cheese (he’s a Swiss boy!) is to rub his palms together in the direction of his fingers back and forth, which is not far from the real sign, which is more of a twisting motion.  He makes a tired sigh and places his hands on the sides of his head to say “nap, bedtime, sleep, etc.”  It’s so cute.  He signs a sort of “finished/play” sign when he is done eating and wants to get out of his highchair.  This is nice because he doesn’t do as much standing up in his chair as before and we can tell him to sit down and tell us if he wants to get out of his chair.  He sort of signs read, but it’s not so clear.  Sometimes it’s like his clapping (which is sometimes a finger pointing to his palm rather than clapping) and the sign for cheese one after the other, which looks a bit like “read book” but it’s not consistent.  What is consistent is that he always wants us to read him books when he’s on the potty.

Spoken words are still behind, but he now says amen after we pray.  It sounds like “may may” most of the time.  It’s SO cute!

Aug 26: Joseph climbed in and out of his stroller.  He’s now quite good at it and is getting rather bold with his adventures.  He loves being out of the apartment and climbing around on the stairs or in the gravel out front.  Often I can read a book while he does this but he can never get enough of it, asking to go outside almost as soon as we come in from being outside for a long while.

He’s walking more and more, but he’s still quite cautious about it.  He waves “hi” and “bye.”

Aug 29: He’s gotten more snuggly with age, which I must say I appreciate.  He’ll rest his head on my shoulder and give us hugs.  It was hard caring for him so much and getting so little physically affection, so I am very much enjoying this stage where he’s happy to just sit in my lap for a few minutes.

Aug 31:  At the end of our family Bible reading today Joseph said “amen” with us and it was so cute that Stephan wanted to hear it again so he said “And all God’s people said . . .” (we used to do this in middle school, the answer was supposed to be “hush” and it was to get our attention – it worked) and without skipping a beat Joseph said “minyum minyum!”  I don’t know if I’ve written it, but it has long been his word for food.

In the other news, I brought back a dairy making kit from the states and I’ve been having fun experimenting with different products.  I’ve made butter and butter milk, yogurt, lemon cheese, sour cream, and mascarpone with moderate success and so far only the cream cheese and the kefir has been a flop.  It’s somehow very fun and satisfying to make staples like butter and yogurt yourself.

Some days everything seems to go wrong and other days everything seems to line up.  Most days are a bit in between, but here is an account of one day to give you (and my future self) a glimpse into daily life here in our new home in Emmen.

6am Stephan’s alarm goes off. I’m already awake because Joseph needed a snack.  He just want back to sleep so I do too.

6:15am get up and follow my morning routine:

Get dressed. Do a quick sweep of the floors. Process my physical inbox for five minutes. Water the plants.  See the chives, marjoram and tomato grow!!!

10 minutes of “nesting” or making the house a bit nicer than it was the day before, today I wiped the coffee table, de-cluttered the window sill and arranged the candles there, found a home for some oversized sheet music that had been sitting around since the move, etc.

6:45am Joseph wakes up.  I drop what I’m doing (nesting) and greet him.  He pees on the potty.  We dump it in the toilet together and play a little.  I get us breakfast.  Today he ate two little slices of bread and three scoops of yogurt.  I had toast.  I wipe up the high chair and table and notice Joseph grunting so I put him on the pot.  Success!  For some reason he also grunts before having to pee.  We take care of the pee, say goodbye to Daddy as he goes off to work, I do the dishes and we play a little together and nurse (I don’t remember how often we play and nurse but it’s here and there and whenever).  I finish my morning routine:

Open all windows to air out apartment (so humidity doesn’t get high enough for mold to continue to grow)

“Swish and Swipe” bathroom (wipe surfaces and toilet, brush toilet bowl) – 4min

8:30ish I start to work on my “important daily cards” where I alternate 10 or so minutes on a task with 10 or so minutes of focused play with Joseph.  This morning practice was first up so I got out my harp and worked on adjusting the bray pins until Joseph crawled over to me and I gave him a little harp lesson.  He loves the harp.  I’m trying to teach him to be gentle.  He actually seems to have learned a bit how to be gentle and has a better plucking technique than he did before.  It used to be the “grab five strings and pull with all your might never releasing the fingers” and now it’s “grab one to three strings and pull sometimes releasing the fingers and making a nice sound.”  I call the improvement, especially since he’s only had three lessons.  What a smart kid!  I tell him he can’t bother me while I’m practicing (it’s only 10 minutes!) and he listens until I’m almost done then when he comes to grab the strings while I’m doing a run-through of a piece I tell him “no” while I’m playing (that takes brain power!) and he starts crying.  Fortunately I’m at the end of my practice session and we can make up.  Total time the harp is out: 15 minutes.  Not up to conservatory standards but I’ve learned how to make the most of the minutes I have.

 (More)

The day after I blogged about how great ECing with Joseph is I missed nearly every one of his pees for two days.  Things have been improving ever since, however and now we’re back to a pretty good average.

Joseph loves clapping his hands, especially with people.

He is increasingly aware and coordinated.  He crawls around obstacles to get to his desired destination.  I first observed this April 20^th when he saw me open the balcony doors and he crawled as fast as he could around his toys to get outside.  If I close the doors before he gets there he throws a fit.  I’m learning how to balance real needs with fits.  It’s not always easy to tell when he’s hurt and when he’s just made he can’t have something.

And speaking of crawling, he goes FAST!  We need to get a video of it someday.  He’s still not interested in standing or walking without support.

He pushes buttons.  When Daddy helps Joseph brush his teeth Joseph gets to turn the bathroom light on and off (it’s a button).

Joseph likes being on the balcony and crawling outside of the house.  When he’s on a surface he doesn’t like he’ll lift his right knee up so that only the foot touches and then gingerly crawl using his right foot and his left knee/foot.  It’s terribly cute.

I’ve been enjoying working on our garden.  I have no clue about gardens and all the instruction books confuse me more and fail to give the basic instructions I think I need.  Despite not knowing what to do and taking too long researching and getting nowhere, I’ve finally just started trying things and whether it’s right or not I’m having fun with it.  I’ve worked the ground to our 170 sq. ft. garden entirely by hand (and with hand tools).  It’s starting to look tamed and I’m proud of how I can grab 15 minutes or so of time when Joseph can entertain himself to work on it.  I’m also trying to grow parsley, chives, marjoram, and cherry tomatoes from seeds indoors.  We don’t get that much sun, so we’ll see how it goes.  The chives and marjoram are sprouting already after just a few days!  It’s so much fun to grow stuff!  It’s almost doesn’t matter if I get a good harvest.

I should write about our Ireland trip, but I don’t want to think that hard, so I’ll use the captive audience to talk about what’s been on my mind and heart for the last year or so.  I find nobody much wants to hear me talk about how I’m working on organizing house and home as much as I have need to talk about it, so with baby in bed and husband out and about, I’ll have some quality time with the keyboard.

I’d love to write about all the things that I’ve discovered and am tweaking to serve my family, like GTD (Getting Things Done), the Tickler, Swish and Swipe (thanks to the Fly Lady) and more, but that would take too much energy, too.  I had a somewhat “blah” day.  You know, one of those days where you don’t feel like doing much of anything and things only get done that are automatic or unavoidable and you end up spending a good deal of time in quadrant four (unimportant and non-urgent) activities.  A few years ago a day like that would have meant candy wrappers and dishes scattered on my desk, stuff spread all over my room, me stuck to the computer doing random things procrastinating going to bed because that would mean facing the consequences of wasting the day away: seeing the next day’s list of engagements and realizing that I’m unprepared for them all.  Whether or not it would have been possible to prepare for all of them if I’d used the time well is irrelevant to the guilty conscience.  I’m unprepared and IT’S ALL MY FAULT!

Thankfully, it’d not like that tonight.  Amazingly, it’s not like that tonight.  Praise the Lord it’s not like that tonight!  The floors are swept, the dishes are done, the bathroom is clean, things are picked up and put away (okay, my desk is a little messy . . .), tomorrow is planned and I’m writing a blog post because I have a little card that lets me know I didn’t write on this week yet.  All that happened on automatic pilot even though I had a “blah” day.  I hardly had days like that a few years ago even when I was in a good mood!

But before this gets to be a long boring post, the most amazing part about today is that I made two phone calls and ran an errand that I’d been procrastinating on for one week, two months, and several months respectively.  That would be impressive on a good day, but on a “blah” day?  It only happened thanks to a tip about gambling.  I’ve started keeping a die on my desk and a slip of paper labeled one through six.  I write three things I’ve been procrastinating on and three things I like to do.  Each day, or several times a day I commit to spending 15 minutes on whatever the die tells me to do.  Not only have I started reading for pleasure again, but when the one finally came up today, I picked up the phone without letting myself think.  Two phone calls and less than 15 minutes later (including interruptions from Joseph) my “Calls” list was empty!  That’s quite a picker-upper for a “blah” day.

The errand got done thanks to a more old-fashioned reminder system: a kick in the pants from my husband.  “Take Joseph, go for a walk, and visit the glasses shop.”  I did.  I walked in and they gave me an exam right then.  That’s good because tonight my glasses finally buckled under Joseph’s loving (okay, so I sat on them a few times, too).  Normally that would have been the frustrating kick-in-the-pants to finally get new glasses and it would have become an emergency, but this time it made me laugh.  I’d already planned to go pick out frames with Stephan tomorrow!

Fine. It wasn’t short.  That’s why I normally set the timer and don’t let myself go longer than 15 minutes!!!!  And no, my taxes aren’t done yet, but we have an extra two months as overseas citizens . . .

Today we had PEKiP for the first time in four weeks.  All the babies have grown so much and now there are three in the group who are crawling (the two 8-month-olds and Joseph).  Joseph climbed the foam steps like they weren’t even there so at home I tried him on our steps by placing his feet two from the top and his hands one from the top.  Once he was interested enough, he crawled up and into the hallway with little difficulty.  Now if he only knew how to break a fall . . . but the PEKiP teacher did show me other ways to help him come down from standing in a way that will hopefully guide him to do it himself soon.

When we first got home from PEKiP I noticed his diaper was dry and since it had been over an hour I put him on the potty.  He’s been peeing on the floor right after sitting dry on the potty lately, so this time I determined to sing and play with him until he went.  At one point he chewed on my finger and I felt a tooth!  Somehow this is very exciting.  I think it’s on the lower right, but he won’t let me look.

We were still on the potty 15 minutes later and he started to get fussy and no pee had happened.  I gave up and let him stand holding onto the hamper.  I put the bowl on the floor next to him thinking “I know he has to go.  Maybe he’ll start as he’s standing.”  Sure enough a few second later, and much to my surprise despite thinking it might happen, he started peeing.  I aimed his hose at the potty and he was a bit surprised at the noise and the stream (he had a partial view) but kept going a full amount.  He’s such a boy!  We both had a good laugh about that.

If placed in a sitting position (tripod) he can hold it for a while.

In the other news, Mom showed me how to bake bread while she was here.  I’ve been experimenting and made Zopf for the first time yesterday.  The husband approves, so I say it was a success.  I’m excited to bake more!

Sorry it’s been so long since I’ve posted.  The past month has been rather difficult for me, but I am thankful for such a wonderfully supportive husband!  Joseph is talking more and discovering more sounds and reaching for things with much more precision.  He’s about to reach the chord to the light above the changing table, so Daddy watch out!  Today he rolled over from his back to his tummy for the first time.  He’s been rolling onto his side for a while, but this morning he grabbed my sweater to help him over the hump to make it all the way.  There are more videos and pictures up since I last blogged.  Today Grossmutti came over and took Joseph for a long walk and I allowed myself to have no responsibility for an hour.  The dishes sat in the sink, the laundry stayed in piles, the computer was off, Little Precious couldn’t interrupt me, and I didn’t even pressure myself about falling asleep.  It was amazing how much better I felt after that hour of rest.  Everyone tells me to rest, and even though I’ve let a lot of things slide and just do the minimum of housework, I’ve been thinking that means sleep and have been go, go, go (at least mentally, if not productively) until I crash in bed.  There really is something to this ‘rest’ thing and I’m very grateful to Grossmutti for giving me the chance to try it out!

Once a week Joseph and I have fun at PEKiP and aftewards I drink coffee with the other moms.  It always amazes me how much this refreshes my soul.  Somehow during the morning I am assured of the importance of the work I am doing and for a few hours I am with people to whom I don't have to explain myself.  We all have different ideas of how to raise kids, but we respect and learn from each other and we're all going through similar trials.  I've always thought having friends young and old from different walks of life was more important than having lots of peers, but there is something to be said to having friends who are living what you're living.

I wonder when we'll start doing this at PEKiP?

It’s is crazy to think I have only been a mother (with a baby outside the womb) for three months.  What a whirlwind ride it has been.  The past few days have been rather miserable for me, but I don’t want to focus on the bad so I’ll write about a few things that make me happy.  I got to chat with my big sis tonight and I’m sure she’s enjoying a lot more sympathy on my part when she is constantly going off topic – to serve her kids.  Actually, we even had some minutes of good listening time without interruption.  Joseph was sleeping so I could enjoy it thoroughly.  She was saying how mothers need an eloquent spokesperson who can accurately portray what the job involves to prepare women without scaring them off.  I said the probably with that is as soon as said eloquent women has a kid she will no longer have the brains to be eloquent . . .

But who needs to be eloquent when talking about the joys of motherhood?  Joseph is three months old and we are so incredibly happy as a family.  He is such a delight and I feel is really starting to bond with me.  I still find it hard to believe I have a son, but maybe I always will.

Recent developments are most noticeable in his hands.  He likes to look at both hands now and he can clasp them together and look at them in front of his face.  He finds it very important work and concentrates very hard.  He is now quite good at reaching out and waving his hand until he gets something and then closing his fingers so that he can hold it.  It’s not a smooth reach-grab movement yet, but I’m sure he’ll get there before we know it.  One development in particular I find fun.  From lying on his back he can grab on to my fingers and he can keep is grip without help throughout a whole sequence of pulling him up to standing, lifting him up in the air so he hangs on his own a few seconds and then lowering him back down.  Holding his head up for that is no problem now.  Of course if he’s tired he won’t do any of it.  I wish I had a bar to practice hanging from, too.

I love watching Papa and Joseph play together.

Yesterday a lady I’ve only met once a number of weeks ago stopped by with dinner for us because “she remembered how hard it was to have a little baby.”

One of my favorite songs came up on my MP3 player.  It’s one that always makes me cry.  I’m sure Stephan thinks it’s cheesy, but cheesy lyrics go well with simple melodies.  I wanted to find it on YouTube and dedicate it to all my family, but it’s on there.  Neither can I find the lyrics online.  As an exile all my CD cases are an ocean away so I can’t type them up either.  It’s a beautiful ballad expressing the joys and difficulties of leaving family and living in a new country by Cherish the Ladies.  It’s “The Missing Piece” on their “Out and About” CD.  It’s a great recording so go out and buy it and listen to it.  I won’t tattle if you cry.

When I first came to Switzerland I created a blog category “The Switzerland Adventure.”  That adventure went a bit longer than planned making the category somewhat useless, but there is still plenty of adventure to be had.

Despite being a few minutes from the French border I hardly ever set foot in the country.  Numerous attempts at learning the language have failed and I have a comfortable life right where I am.  Yet having accepted a gig near Strasbourg I needed to go buy a railway discount card and the tickets for the first rehearsal.  It was surprisingly difficult to figure out the busses and prices to St. Louis, but despite “mommy brain,” as my sister calls it, I did come up with a plan and the reason why I’m blogging about it is because I executed it flawlessly and in the award-winning time of 2 hours.  I say two things in French besides “yes” and “no” and it’s “I don’t understand French” and “Do you speak English or German?”  The latter let me get what I need at the ticket counter using my German and this trip I decided to use a smile instead of the former when greeted by friendly bus companions.

I wasn’t sure if I’d bought the right tickets, but against all odds our tickets were checked and I wasn’t given any trouble.  Hurrah for Momma!  This little excursion reminded me that I’m not a particularly experienced world traveler.  I’ve just been in Switzerland long enough to go for many days comfortably without having an adventure.  It’s time to be more adventurous!

Joseph slept peacefully during his entire first trip to France.

Speaking of the sweet little guy, he also had his first trip to a bar yesterday evening.  He was awake and content for over an hour despite the noise and live music.  Thanks to Basel’s new smoking ban, we were able to celebrate Richard’s birthday bit as a family.

In the potty news, I missed a really huge one this morning because I thought Joe was complaining about his stuffy nose.  It surely makes me appreciate the times we do catch it!  Also, I had read that when babies are being carried in wraps close to mama or papa they don’t like to pee and will wait until they are out.  The recommendation then is to give the baby the opportunity to go before and after being in the wrap.  Usually I’m too focused on trying to keep him sleeping from wrap to bed so I can get something done, and besides I found it hard to believe since when his diaper is off he’ll go three times in an hour.  Today, however, he woke up as I took him out of the wrap so I put him on the potty.  It’s not too surprising that he peed, but what amazed me is that his diaper was completely dry after 2 ½ hours in the wrap!  It’s funny how despite the success we’re having, I still somehow don’t believe what the EC say is true.  Just think what we could do if I actually believed in what we’re doing!  I’m too insecure and concerned about what I think everyone else is thinking about me . . .

Hm, I suppose that’s one way to have more adventures.

Joseph is growing quickly before our eyes.  He can entertain himself for longer periods of time, which makes Mommy’s life easier!  Yesterday morning he discovered his hand.  He stared fascinated at it and when I put a rattle in his hand he held it for a good while “accidentally” shaking it and gazing at it all the while.

He also holds his gaze on people much longer.  My favorite time is when we stare at each other and he smiles and giggles and looks so delighted just to be a live and looking at Mommy!

Wednesday I had a three hour rehearsal for a gig and he did amazingly well.  He is entertained a little my music playing, but toward the end he just wanted attention.  I’m finally feeling like I might be able to play the gig this month without too much stress.

I’m grateful that with all the pain behind me and with adjusting to sleep deprivation I’m finally feeling like I can bond with my baby.  The first month was sadly more like just getting through it because I had to.  I had no energy for that overwhelming love everyone talks about.  It’s wonderful to be able to enjoy Joseph and to see that he loves me despite me not being able to be too attentive in the first month.  Babies are strong!

There are new pictures up.

Eastman would be proud.  Never thought I would, but I’m getting a DMA . . . a Doctorate in Mothering Arts that is (hardiharhar).  Can I get a doctorate so soon you ask?  Well, I am already a Master in One-Handed Arts, so it’s time for the next level.  I’m in a pretty intensive program, so it stands to reason I’m whipping through the degrees so quickly.

Yesterday I passed the “I’m covered with fluids but I don’t really mind” test.  This test was invented by someone who wasn’t quite thinking.  You have to hold the baby on the potty while sitting on the bed and nursing at the same time.  I had the foresight to be sitting on a water-proof pad so the bed was spared everything but the spit-up.  I had decided his fussiness was because he didn’t want to be on the potty and had just taken the bowl away when he let out the real reason why he’d been fussy.  Targets: the cloth diaper I was holding under him, my hand, the water-proof pad and my pants.  Somehow the bed survived.  While recovering from the shock of the explosion and kicking myself for taking the bowl away, little one baptized everything listed about plus my shirt with a shower.  I decided things were as messy as they could get and brought naked Joseph up to my shoulder to burp and calm him.  Soon after I wasn’t sure if he was peeing or I was just leaking . . .  And lastly came the spit-up on the bed.  Hurrah!  I passed that test in record time – less than 30 minutes.

Today was the “run a bunch of errands with baby in tow” test.  The tests are cumulative, so I had to first demonstrate my proficiency at the above test before embarking on this one.  I did this by getting pee on my pants and poop on my shirt shortly before departure time and deciding the pee would dry and the poop would be covered up by the Moby wrap so I didn’t have to change.

After that Joseph was such a good little boy to me.  (Speaking of good little boys, he gave me two consecutive stretches of three hours of sleep last night.  I was positively bouncing around with the energy it gave me.)  Joseph was sleeping when we took off for the doctor’s office and stayed sleeping as I put him in the Moby wrap.  [Some grandmas might want to know that he was having a routine ultra sound to check the development of his hip sockets.  I assumed it would be fine so didn’t bother looking into it much.  He’s almost fine.  The right side is 58 degrees and not 60 or more (whatever that means) so doctor’s orders were to keep wearing him with the wrap and come back in a month.  It will be fine then, I’m sure, but prayers don’t hurt.]  Back to the test: I decided to define “bunch” as “three” and planned two stops after the doctor’s visit.  The doctor took an hour and Joseph was only fussy while scheduling an appointment with the receptionist.  If you can have a tradition after two times, he’s made a tradition of being an angel for the doctors and fussy for the secretaries - is he a “somebodies and nobodies” snob already?  Anyway, awake for the tram and bus rides, Joseph fell asleep just as I arrived at the bank.  I closed my student account without trouble – only the grocery store left to go.  Amazingly he stayed a sleep even through checkout and only started fussing once we were outside in the sun and heat face-to-face with the bus we had just missed.  Eight minutes of standing in the sun at the end of a trip with a sweaty squirmy boy strapped to my chest is not my idea of fun so I walked to the next stop hoping he’d fall asleep again.  No such luck but he was happier and we arrived just in time to catch the next bus home.  Miraculously he was asleep again by the time I need to haul the rolling shopping bag full of groceries up the four flights of steps.  This enabled me to hoist the bag and go up the steps without fear he would through his head back because when he is awake he will not stand to have his head tucked in the wrap – it must be out and he must look up!

I arrived home thrilled at my accomplishments and was convinced I had “tooled” the test.  I was just starting to wonder if I might achieve “Super Mom” status after all when I . . . well, let’s just say I should quit blogging and do some Kegels.