There are many thoughts flying about my head, but Joseph’s nap won’t last forever and there are more important things to do, like prepare ourselves to welcome the Savior of the world.
But Stephan’s 7-takes lead me to an article which I think is as important as it is horrifying: Mother’s who decide not to be mothers anymore. Full-time mothering is tough no matter what outside commitments you have. It’s difficult to express all that goes into it being a very demanding and stressful job, especially when it’s much better to focus on all the joys it brings. Yet I think it’s dangerous to underplay the difficulties to women who are not yet mothers. They need to count the cost. Examples of women who found it to be too much to give up their careers and so much time and energy can be a good way to hit home the sobering truth of just how tough a job it is without having to whine all the time trying to express it. It can also be an encouragement and warning to current mothers: don’t take on more than you can handle outside the home. Your work inside is of infinite importance and is not “nothing” but requires an incredible amount of energy and strength – even if people around you don’t ever “get it.”
I read the same article (via the same source). I have some thoughts ... which you won't get right at this moment ... there's not enough Christmas Eve left before we leave for church....
Though what am I complaining about? We have more Christmas Eve left than you do. :)
I agree that we should be better about telling others how hard mothering is. I've thought about it specifically for breastfeeding, but you're right it includes everything. Homeschooling as well. If you put on this "everything's perfect" mask you're not only hurting yourself from help, you're hurting others who get a false impression and then give up because they don't have it perfect.
You're right--that's a hard article to read. Hard on the heart. Some of it hit so close to home for me (I was a homeschooled, sheltered child whose mother abandoned her post. She didn't leave her family, but she did drop every aspect of close, involved parenting so she could involve herself in things outside of our home.), and I'm still reeling a little. Whether looking at this from the point of view of a parent or a child, it seems that instilling and keeping virtues like gratitude, humility, encouragement, and servanthood are some of the foundational pillars that make any healthy family work. Are these non-custodial mothers who talk about giving support and feeling connected--are they sopping their consciences? Do these women really think that putting themselves first benefits anyone, parent or child?
Sorry it took me so long to get to moderating your comment, Brenda. I'm sorry to open up old wounds. I'm not exactly sure what these mothers are thinking, other than they have a healthy dose of the "look out for #1" mentality our culture preaches. Our culture generally doesn't support giving up one's life for another. They might thinking dying for another is honorable, but living a life of sacrifice is considered almost stupid. I'm not sure what to make of it all, but these are good questions and thoughts to keep in mind.
