It’s is crazy to think I have only been a mother (with a baby outside the womb) for three months. What a whirlwind ride it has been. The past few days have been rather miserable for me, but I don’t want to focus on the bad so I’ll write about a few things that make me happy. I got to chat with my big sis tonight and I’m sure she’s enjoying a lot more sympathy on my part when she is constantly going off topic – to serve her kids. Actually, we even had some minutes of good listening time without interruption. Joseph was sleeping so I could enjoy it thoroughly. She was saying how mothers need an eloquent spokesperson who can accurately portray what the job involves to prepare women without scaring them off. I said the probably with that is as soon as said eloquent women has a kid she will no longer have the brains to be eloquent . . .
But who needs to be eloquent when talking about the joys of motherhood? Joseph is three months old and we are so incredibly happy as a family. He is such a delight and I feel is really starting to bond with me. I still find it hard to believe I have a son, but maybe I always will.
Recent developments are most noticeable in his hands. He likes to look at both hands now and he can clasp them together and look at them in front of his face. He finds it very important work and concentrates very hard. He is now quite good at reaching out and waving his hand until he gets something and then closing his fingers so that he can hold it. It’s not a smooth reach-grab movement yet, but I’m sure he’ll get there before we know it. One development in particular I find fun. From lying on his back he can grab on to my fingers and he can keep is grip without help throughout a whole sequence of pulling him up to standing, lifting him up in the air so he hangs on his own a few seconds and then lowering him back down. Holding his head up for that is no problem now. Of course if he’s tired he won’t do any of it. I wish I had a bar to practice hanging from, too.
I love watching Papa and Joseph play together.
Yesterday a lady I’ve only met once a number of weeks ago stopped by with dinner for us because “she remembered how hard it was to have a little baby.”
One of my favorite songs came up on my MP3 player. It’s one that always makes me cry. I’m sure Stephan thinks it’s cheesy, but cheesy lyrics go well with simple melodies. I wanted to find it on YouTube and dedicate it to all my family, but it’s on there. Neither can I find the lyrics online. As an exile all my CD cases are an ocean away so I can’t type them up either. It’s a beautiful ballad expressing the joys and difficulties of leaving family and living in a new country by Cherish the Ladies. It’s “The Missing Piece” on their “Out and About” CD. It’s a great recording so go out and buy it and listen to it. I won’t tattle if you cry.
But who needs to be eloquent when talking about the joys of motherhood? Joseph is three months old and we are so incredibly happy as a family. He is such a delight and I feel is really starting to bond with me. I still find it hard to believe I have a son, but maybe I always will.
Recent developments are most noticeable in his hands. He likes to look at both hands now and he can clasp them together and look at them in front of his face. He finds it very important work and concentrates very hard. He is now quite good at reaching out and waving his hand until he gets something and then closing his fingers so that he can hold it. It’s not a smooth reach-grab movement yet, but I’m sure he’ll get there before we know it. One development in particular I find fun. From lying on his back he can grab on to my fingers and he can keep is grip without help throughout a whole sequence of pulling him up to standing, lifting him up in the air so he hangs on his own a few seconds and then lowering him back down. Holding his head up for that is no problem now. Of course if he’s tired he won’t do any of it. I wish I had a bar to practice hanging from, too.
I love watching Papa and Joseph play together.
Yesterday a lady I’ve only met once a number of weeks ago stopped by with dinner for us because “she remembered how hard it was to have a little baby.”
One of my favorite songs came up on my MP3 player. It’s one that always makes me cry. I’m sure Stephan thinks it’s cheesy, but cheesy lyrics go well with simple melodies. I wanted to find it on YouTube and dedicate it to all my family, but it’s on there. Neither can I find the lyrics online. As an exile all my CD cases are an ocean away so I can’t type them up either. It’s a beautiful ballad expressing the joys and difficulties of leaving family and living in a new country by Cherish the Ladies. It’s “The Missing Piece” on their “Out and About” CD. It’s a great recording so go out and buy it and listen to it. I won’t tattle if you cry.
Long ago in the innocent days of pregnancy I agreed to play a concert in October with the thought that I should have life with a three-month-old down well enough to see how working as a musician might work with kids. Well, the date changed to September and the organization has been complicated, but I successfully performed the concert on Saturday. The jury is still out on whether it’s worth it or not. I enjoyed having a reason to practice (though moments at home that can be used for focused work are few andfar between) and I enjoyed rehearsing with the musicians. It is quite an ordeal to get the whole family to Strasbourg (about 2 hours of travel time door to door) and I’m not sure what I would have had to pay a babysitter for an all-day affair three weekends in a row. Joseph and Stephan were happy to have some father-son time, but it wasn’t easy on any of us. It’s hard for me to concentrate these days, and concentrating on rehearsal when you can hear your baby screaming is no easy, nor pleasant task. That said, it all went rather better than I expected, but the whole system trusts chance a bit too much for my comfort level – even with faith in a good God. What if my son got sick when I had to play the concert? Would I abandon my son or abandon the concert? It’s not a happy thought. As it was, I was sick and terribly exhausted from a night of less than three hours of sleep and having had no nap all week. I was up at 5am with Joseph feeling like calling in sick, but that’s not possible for a musician. The show must go on. You have to be ON at a certain time and date, and that’s that. That’s why they pay us the big bucks.
So, about those big bucks. It’s always so hard to justify them to myself and others. In high school professional pay was great, but I always thought it must be hard to live off. I’ve long wondered just how much I get an hour for a gig if I factored in all my expenses and time. The question is even more important now that I have a patron (my husband) and a dependant and it’s possible that my time is more important than the cash. I determined to take meticulous notes of the hours and dimes I spent for this gig so I could evaluate it rationally after the fact. I don’t know how to factor in the cost of my husband’s time (two Saturdays and a Sunday gone) or the stress of playing a concert half dead. I’d like to add a couple hundred Euro for that, but musicians don’t get sick leave or maternity time or any benefits at all, and I don’t know how to factor those costs in either. Nor do I know how much amortization of the expense of my harp to factor in or how much of the cost of the fives strings I had to replace while preparing for the gig (at 10 Francs a pop). So, I’ll just give the bare numbers and we can know it’s actually a bit worse than that. Fortunately, Europe pays musicians better than the US does so my hourly rate turned out to be a whopping 9.03 Euro an hour. That doesn’t include the commute or lunch break. If I include the commute, because as a musician without regular work, the place a concert is means time away from practice and other gigs and is not consistent, then the sum is a voluminous 7.06 Euro an hour. For those not in the know the Euro is dropping now so those numbers correspond to 12.11USD (11.89CHF) and 9.47USD (9.29CHF). I think I’d have to pay a babysitter more than that. It’s a good thing Switzerland doesn’t have a minimum wage or I’d risk making less than it.
Is it fun? Yes and no. Is it worth it? Hm, I wonder how long it would take me to recover the cost of music school at that rate?
So, about those big bucks. It’s always so hard to justify them to myself and others. In high school professional pay was great, but I always thought it must be hard to live off. I’ve long wondered just how much I get an hour for a gig if I factored in all my expenses and time. The question is even more important now that I have a patron (my husband) and a dependant and it’s possible that my time is more important than the cash. I determined to take meticulous notes of the hours and dimes I spent for this gig so I could evaluate it rationally after the fact. I don’t know how to factor in the cost of my husband’s time (two Saturdays and a Sunday gone) or the stress of playing a concert half dead. I’d like to add a couple hundred Euro for that, but musicians don’t get sick leave or maternity time or any benefits at all, and I don’t know how to factor those costs in either. Nor do I know how much amortization of the expense of my harp to factor in or how much of the cost of the fives strings I had to replace while preparing for the gig (at 10 Francs a pop). So, I’ll just give the bare numbers and we can know it’s actually a bit worse than that. Fortunately, Europe pays musicians better than the US does so my hourly rate turned out to be a whopping 9.03 Euro an hour. That doesn’t include the commute or lunch break. If I include the commute, because as a musician without regular work, the place a concert is means time away from practice and other gigs and is not consistent, then the sum is a voluminous 7.06 Euro an hour. For those not in the know the Euro is dropping now so those numbers correspond to 12.11USD (11.89CHF) and 9.47USD (9.29CHF). I think I’d have to pay a babysitter more than that. It’s a good thing Switzerland doesn’t have a minimum wage or I’d risk making less than it.
Is it fun? Yes and no. Is it worth it? Hm, I wonder how long it would take me to recover the cost of music school at that rate?
The past two weekends our family has gone to France for rehearsals for my gig this Saturday. We haven’t seen much of Strasbourg as we arrive and leave right on the edges of the four hour rehearsals. While it hasn’t been easy, it’s worked better than I had thought it would. Daddy and Joseph usually did well without me and I was able to focus on my work. It’s nice to play and it’s nice to have at least one paying gig after three years of such a random study. The group is very nice and a pleasure to play with. After four hours I’m ready to be back to being a full-time mommy. I wouldn’t want to be away for much longer than that.
Otherwise life continues in a somewhat normal fashion. Well, the house hasn’t been cleaned in a few weeks and it’s starting to drive me nuts, and I haven’t been able to fit any runs in, but I suppose there’s a season for everything. ECing has had it’s ups and downs – or should I say catches and misses. It felt like Joseph went on potty strike yesterday as he’d refuse to pee and then go almost as soon as I took him off the potty. Today, however was encouraging because I decided to brave the walk to PEKiP without a diaper – for Joseph, that is. I wasn’t too surprised that both ways he held it in and I didn’t get a drop on me. On the way home he went on the potty as soon as took him out, but when we got to PEKiP he was first of all asleep for a while and then there were too many interesting things to look at to bother peeing in the potty. I’m also a little uncomfortable putting him on the potty while in the group, but I caught one out of three pees and so I count it a success. I’m still not sure what I think of the whole thing. I’ve tried nearly a day without a diaper and it worked rather well but also took more time. I suppose it takes less time as you get used to it, but it’s still nice to just have him in a diaper and not think about it.
Last night the family went indoor rock climbing with church friends. We each got enough climbing in to make us happy and Joseph did a wonderful job being passed around. He is now strong enough to hold on to my thumbs as I pull him from lying onto his back to standing and he takes on more of the work when I lift him up so he’s hanging. In a few years I’m sure he’ll be itching to climb the walls as well! If it weren’t such an expensive hobby, I’d be tempted to do it more than every two years.
I'll leave you with this mini-story. As the ladies of the nursing home where our church meets filed out of their church service I stood with Joseph facing them and they all enjoyed that. Of course I got the usual dose of free opinions and I found it super funny that one lady said "Oh, he has cold hands!" and the very next lady said "Oh, he has such warm hands!" I suppose that should teach me not to take everything everyone tells me too seriously.
When I first came to Switzerland I created a blog category “The Switzerland Adventure.” That adventure went a bit longer than planned making the category somewhat useless, but there is still plenty of adventure to be had.
Despite being a few minutes from the French border I hardly ever set foot in the country. Numerous attempts at learning the language have failed and I have a comfortable life right where I am. Yet having accepted a gig near Strasbourg I needed to go buy a railway discount card and the tickets for the first rehearsal. It was surprisingly difficult to figure out the busses and prices to St. Louis, but despite “mommy brain,” as my sister calls it, I did come up with a plan and the reason why I’m blogging about it is because I executed it flawlessly and in the award-winning time of 2 hours. I say two things in French besides “yes” and “no” and it’s “I don’t understand French” and “Do you speak English or German?” The latter let me get what I need at the ticket counter using my German and this trip I decided to use a smile instead of the former when greeted by friendly bus companions.
I wasn’t sure if I’d bought the right tickets, but against all odds our tickets were checked and I wasn’t given any trouble. Hurrah for Momma! This little excursion reminded me that I’m not a particularly experienced world traveler. I’ve just been in Switzerland long enough to go for many days comfortably without having an adventure. It’s time to be more adventurous!
Joseph slept peacefully during his entire first trip to France.
Speaking of the sweet little guy, he also had his first trip to a bar yesterday evening. He was awake and content for over an hour despite the noise and live music. Thanks to Basel’s new smoking ban, we were able to celebrate Richard’s birthday bit as a family.
In the potty news, I missed a really huge one this morning because I thought Joe was complaining about his stuffy nose. It surely makes me appreciate the times we do catch it! Also, I had read that when babies are being carried in wraps close to mama or papa they don’t like to pee and will wait until they are out. The recommendation then is to give the baby the opportunity to go before and after being in the wrap. Usually I’m too focused on trying to keep him sleeping from wrap to bed so I can get something done, and besides I found it hard to believe since when his diaper is off he’ll go three times in an hour. Today, however, he woke up as I took him out of the wrap so I put him on the potty. It’s not too surprising that he peed, but what amazed me is that his diaper was completely dry after 2 ½ hours in the wrap! It’s funny how despite the success we’re having, I still somehow don’t believe what the EC say is true. Just think what we could do if I actually believed in what we’re doing! I’m too insecure and concerned about what I think everyone else is thinking about me . . .
Hm, I suppose that’s one way to have more adventures.
Despite being a few minutes from the French border I hardly ever set foot in the country. Numerous attempts at learning the language have failed and I have a comfortable life right where I am. Yet having accepted a gig near Strasbourg I needed to go buy a railway discount card and the tickets for the first rehearsal. It was surprisingly difficult to figure out the busses and prices to St. Louis, but despite “mommy brain,” as my sister calls it, I did come up with a plan and the reason why I’m blogging about it is because I executed it flawlessly and in the award-winning time of 2 hours. I say two things in French besides “yes” and “no” and it’s “I don’t understand French” and “Do you speak English or German?” The latter let me get what I need at the ticket counter using my German and this trip I decided to use a smile instead of the former when greeted by friendly bus companions.
I wasn’t sure if I’d bought the right tickets, but against all odds our tickets were checked and I wasn’t given any trouble. Hurrah for Momma! This little excursion reminded me that I’m not a particularly experienced world traveler. I’ve just been in Switzerland long enough to go for many days comfortably without having an adventure. It’s time to be more adventurous!
Joseph slept peacefully during his entire first trip to France.
Speaking of the sweet little guy, he also had his first trip to a bar yesterday evening. He was awake and content for over an hour despite the noise and live music. Thanks to Basel’s new smoking ban, we were able to celebrate Richard’s birthday bit as a family.
In the potty news, I missed a really huge one this morning because I thought Joe was complaining about his stuffy nose. It surely makes me appreciate the times we do catch it! Also, I had read that when babies are being carried in wraps close to mama or papa they don’t like to pee and will wait until they are out. The recommendation then is to give the baby the opportunity to go before and after being in the wrap. Usually I’m too focused on trying to keep him sleeping from wrap to bed so I can get something done, and besides I found it hard to believe since when his diaper is off he’ll go three times in an hour. Today, however, he woke up as I took him out of the wrap so I put him on the potty. It’s not too surprising that he peed, but what amazed me is that his diaper was completely dry after 2 ½ hours in the wrap! It’s funny how despite the success we’re having, I still somehow don’t believe what the EC say is true. Just think what we could do if I actually believed in what we’re doing! I’m too insecure and concerned about what I think everyone else is thinking about me . . .
Hm, I suppose that’s one way to have more adventures.
This morning Joseph and I went to our first PEKiP course. PEKiP stands for Prager-Eltern-Kind Program, which means the “Prague parent-child program.” Someone here recommended it and when I found out it’s 1 ½ hours of naked baby time and that there was a class starting up soon I signed up without too much further research. I don’t know if that smart or not, but here we are. There are six ladies and their babies in the class but only five were there today. Three are second or third time mothers and have done PEKiP before. We mostly got to know each other today so I can’t judge yet how it is. The instructor spent quite a bit of time watching and learning about each child. We’ll see what happens. Of the two ulterior motives I had for taking this class, one is shot out of the water. I wanted to get to know local Swiss mothers and have a natural setting for practicing Swiss German but at least three of the other four mothers are German! That’s good news for my High German, I guess. The other ulterior motive was getting 1 ½ hours of diaper free time and seeing how others dealt with elimination needs. I mentioned this and it turns out they don’t bother watching signals. They just clean up when a mess occurs. I think I’m going to bring my “potty” along anyway because Joseph consistently became fussy before he peed (three times) so it shouldn’t be too hard to at least give him the opportunity to go when he becomes fussy. Otherwise he was happy to be naked in a warm room (I was sweating like mad!) and only really cried at the end because he was ready for a nap. Unfortunately, I didn’t learn any great ways to keep yourself from getting peed on or not worrying about when the baby will pee. I couldn’t watch too much since I was focusing on Joseph, but mostly they just kept their babies on the towels on the floor and held the towel around them if they held their babies. I just got peed on, but that’s starting to bother me less and less . . .
So, it’s good observation time, but won’t be good for support. I need to find a Swiss EC group. I wonder what EC is in German.
Yesterday Joseph had his 2 month appointment. He’s still at the top of the charts for weight (6.780 kilograms, 59.5cm, 41.5cm head at 10 weeks). (That was quite obvious at PEKiP this morning. He was one of the bigger babies but one of the youngest! The babies are between 2 and 4 months.) The doctor asked if we’d cut Joseph’s hair. I said “no” and he said “It looks funny.” Other than that he was very encouraging and impressed with Joseph’s progress, especially with head control. And his hair does look funny . . .
So, it’s good observation time, but won’t be good for support. I need to find a Swiss EC group. I wonder what EC is in German.
Yesterday Joseph had his 2 month appointment. He’s still at the top of the charts for weight (6.780 kilograms, 59.5cm, 41.5cm head at 10 weeks). (That was quite obvious at PEKiP this morning. He was one of the bigger babies but one of the youngest! The babies are between 2 and 4 months.) The doctor asked if we’d cut Joseph’s hair. I said “no” and he said “It looks funny.” Other than that he was very encouraging and impressed with Joseph’s progress, especially with head control. And his hair does look funny . . .
I’m not sure we fully appreciate how good Joseph is to us. Yesterday we went to a friend’s wedding and he did a wonderful job during the hour plus drive and during the service. He was awake but didn’t make much noise as he smiled and played. He’s starting to not want the breast all that often and drinks deeply when he does nurse so he can go longer between feedings. He only just started to fuss at the end of the trip home. He did a great job with all the noisy people at the reception. He even fell asleep for a bit. Maybe he’s starting to recognize noisy people as background noise.
Last night he went to be around 8 and only woke up to feed at 1am and 4am. I got two three-hour stretches of sleep! He was up around 6 with a wet, but clean diaper and proceeded to deposit a massive amount of waste right into the potty while breastfeeding (Mommy’s figured out a thing or two about how to work it). It’s soooooooo nice to know that there’s one more diaper explosion I don’t have to clean up after. In general we catch at least one pooh a day but I’ve not made much progress in identifying signals of need. I’m fine with that. The most important thing for me is that I don’t stress about it but take it as it comes. I hope to get better at reading him, but if you focus too hard on it you can’t see anything. Being more relaxed about this and other various aspects of baby care help me to enjoy Joseph and the time we have together much, much more. What blessed parents we are!
Last night he went to be around 8 and only woke up to feed at 1am and 4am. I got two three-hour stretches of sleep! He was up around 6 with a wet, but clean diaper and proceeded to deposit a massive amount of waste right into the potty while breastfeeding (Mommy’s figured out a thing or two about how to work it). It’s soooooooo nice to know that there’s one more diaper explosion I don’t have to clean up after. In general we catch at least one pooh a day but I’ve not made much progress in identifying signals of need. I’m fine with that. The most important thing for me is that I don’t stress about it but take it as it comes. I hope to get better at reading him, but if you focus too hard on it you can’t see anything. Being more relaxed about this and other various aspects of baby care help me to enjoy Joseph and the time we have together much, much more. What blessed parents we are!
Joseph is growing quickly before our eyes. He can entertain himself for longer periods of time, which makes Mommy’s life easier! Yesterday morning he discovered his hand. He stared fascinated at it and when I put a rattle in his hand he held it for a good while “accidentally” shaking it and gazing at it all the while.
He also holds his gaze on people much longer. My favorite time is when we stare at each other and he smiles and giggles and looks so delighted just to be a live and looking at Mommy!
Wednesday I had a three hour rehearsal for a gig and he did amazingly well. He is entertained a little my music playing, but toward the end he just wanted attention. I’m finally feeling like I might be able to play the gig this month without too much stress.
I’m grateful that with all the pain behind me and with adjusting to sleep deprivation I’m finally feeling like I can bond with my baby. The first month was sadly more like just getting through it because I had to. I had no energy for that overwhelming love everyone talks about. It’s wonderful to be able to enjoy Joseph and to see that he loves me despite me not being able to be too attentive in the first month. Babies are strong!
There are new pictures up.
He also holds his gaze on people much longer. My favorite time is when we stare at each other and he smiles and giggles and looks so delighted just to be a live and looking at Mommy!
Wednesday I had a three hour rehearsal for a gig and he did amazingly well. He is entertained a little my music playing, but toward the end he just wanted attention. I’m finally feeling like I might be able to play the gig this month without too much stress.
I’m grateful that with all the pain behind me and with adjusting to sleep deprivation I’m finally feeling like I can bond with my baby. The first month was sadly more like just getting through it because I had to. I had no energy for that overwhelming love everyone talks about. It’s wonderful to be able to enjoy Joseph and to see that he loves me despite me not being able to be too attentive in the first month. Babies are strong!
There are new pictures up.
