Eastman would be proud. Never thought I would, but I’m getting a DMA . . . a Doctorate in Mothering Arts that is (hardiharhar). Can I get a doctorate so soon you ask? Well, I am already a Master in One-Handed Arts, so it’s time for the next level. I’m in a pretty intensive program, so it stands to reason I’m whipping through the degrees so quickly.
Yesterday I passed the “I’m covered with fluids but I don’t really mind” test. This test was invented by someone who wasn’t quite thinking. You have to hold the baby on the potty while sitting on the bed and nursing at the same time. I had the foresight to be sitting on a water-proof pad so the bed was spared everything but the spit-up. I had decided his fussiness was because he didn’t want to be on the potty and had just taken the bowl away when he let out the real reason why he’d been fussy. Targets: the cloth diaper I was holding under him, my hand, the water-proof pad and my pants. Somehow the bed survived. While recovering from the shock of the explosion and kicking myself for taking the bowl away, little one baptized everything listed about plus my shirt with a shower. I decided things were as messy as they could get and brought naked Joseph up to my shoulder to burp and calm him. Soon after I wasn’t sure if he was peeing or I was just leaking . . . And lastly came the spit-up on the bed. Hurrah! I passed that test in record time – less than 30 minutes.
Today was the “run a bunch of errands with baby in tow” test. The tests are cumulative, so I had to first demonstrate my proficiency at the above test before embarking on this one. I did this by getting pee on my pants and poop on my shirt shortly before departure time and deciding the pee would dry and the poop would be covered up by the Moby wrap so I didn’t have to change.
After that Joseph was such a good little boy to me. (Speaking of good little boys, he gave me two consecutive stretches of three hours of sleep last night. I was positively bouncing around with the energy it gave me.) Joseph was sleeping when we took off for the doctor’s office and stayed sleeping as I put him in the Moby wrap. [Some grandmas might want to know that he was having a routine ultra sound to check the development of his hip sockets. I assumed it would be fine so didn’t bother looking into it much. He’s almost fine. The right side is 58 degrees and not 60 or more (whatever that means) so doctor’s orders were to keep wearing him with the wrap and come back in a month. It will be fine then, I’m sure, but prayers don’t hurt.] Back to the test: I decided to define “bunch” as “three” and planned two stops after the doctor’s visit. The doctor took an hour and Joseph was only fussy while scheduling an appointment with the receptionist. If you can have a tradition after two times, he’s made a tradition of being an angel for the doctors and fussy for the secretaries - is he a “somebodies and nobodies” snob already? Anyway, awake for the tram and bus rides, Joseph fell asleep just as I arrived at the bank. I closed my student account without trouble – only the grocery store left to go. Amazingly he stayed a sleep even through checkout and only started fussing once we were outside in the sun and heat face-to-face with the bus we had just missed. Eight minutes of standing in the sun at the end of a trip with a sweaty squirmy boy strapped to my chest is not my idea of fun so I walked to the next stop hoping he’d fall asleep again. No such luck but he was happier and we arrived just in time to catch the next bus home. Miraculously he was asleep again by the time I need to haul the rolling shopping bag full of groceries up the four flights of steps. This enabled me to hoist the bag and go up the steps without fear he would through his head back because when he is awake he will not stand to have his head tucked in the wrap – it must be out and he must look up!
I arrived home thrilled at my accomplishments and was convinced I had “tooled” the test. I was just starting to wonder if I might achieve “Super Mom” status after all when I . . . well, let’s just say I should quit blogging and do some Kegels.
Yesterday I passed the “I’m covered with fluids but I don’t really mind” test. This test was invented by someone who wasn’t quite thinking. You have to hold the baby on the potty while sitting on the bed and nursing at the same time. I had the foresight to be sitting on a water-proof pad so the bed was spared everything but the spit-up. I had decided his fussiness was because he didn’t want to be on the potty and had just taken the bowl away when he let out the real reason why he’d been fussy. Targets: the cloth diaper I was holding under him, my hand, the water-proof pad and my pants. Somehow the bed survived. While recovering from the shock of the explosion and kicking myself for taking the bowl away, little one baptized everything listed about plus my shirt with a shower. I decided things were as messy as they could get and brought naked Joseph up to my shoulder to burp and calm him. Soon after I wasn’t sure if he was peeing or I was just leaking . . . And lastly came the spit-up on the bed. Hurrah! I passed that test in record time – less than 30 minutes.
Today was the “run a bunch of errands with baby in tow” test. The tests are cumulative, so I had to first demonstrate my proficiency at the above test before embarking on this one. I did this by getting pee on my pants and poop on my shirt shortly before departure time and deciding the pee would dry and the poop would be covered up by the Moby wrap so I didn’t have to change.
After that Joseph was such a good little boy to me. (Speaking of good little boys, he gave me two consecutive stretches of three hours of sleep last night. I was positively bouncing around with the energy it gave me.) Joseph was sleeping when we took off for the doctor’s office and stayed sleeping as I put him in the Moby wrap. [Some grandmas might want to know that he was having a routine ultra sound to check the development of his hip sockets. I assumed it would be fine so didn’t bother looking into it much. He’s almost fine. The right side is 58 degrees and not 60 or more (whatever that means) so doctor’s orders were to keep wearing him with the wrap and come back in a month. It will be fine then, I’m sure, but prayers don’t hurt.] Back to the test: I decided to define “bunch” as “three” and planned two stops after the doctor’s visit. The doctor took an hour and Joseph was only fussy while scheduling an appointment with the receptionist. If you can have a tradition after two times, he’s made a tradition of being an angel for the doctors and fussy for the secretaries - is he a “somebodies and nobodies” snob already? Anyway, awake for the tram and bus rides, Joseph fell asleep just as I arrived at the bank. I closed my student account without trouble – only the grocery store left to go. Amazingly he stayed a sleep even through checkout and only started fussing once we were outside in the sun and heat face-to-face with the bus we had just missed. Eight minutes of standing in the sun at the end of a trip with a sweaty squirmy boy strapped to my chest is not my idea of fun so I walked to the next stop hoping he’d fall asleep again. No such luck but he was happier and we arrived just in time to catch the next bus home. Miraculously he was asleep again by the time I need to haul the rolling shopping bag full of groceries up the four flights of steps. This enabled me to hoist the bag and go up the steps without fear he would through his head back because when he is awake he will not stand to have his head tucked in the wrap – it must be out and he must look up!
I arrived home thrilled at my accomplishments and was convinced I had “tooled” the test. I was just starting to wonder if I might achieve “Super Mom” status after all when I . . . well, let’s just say I should quit blogging and do some Kegels.
Comments
Congratulations—you're a Super Mom in my book. A multi-lingual one, too, but since the language at the beginning of your post was not German, Swiss German, Japanese, or French, but garbage tacked on from Word, the Webmaster took the liberty of making your post more readable, since the odds are good you won't get more free computer time for a while.
I wonder how many other procedures are "routine" in Switzerland that I've never heard of! Here, I think that's what the doctors are checking when they manipulate the baby's legs. That's cool about the Moby wrap being good for developing the hip sockets. The other thing I know is good for that (the only thing I knew before this) is crawling, so you know what I'd recommend. ;)
Posted by
SursumCorda
on Tuesday, August 10, 2010 at 9:40 am
Ah, sis! You make me laugh. Congrats on your outing, that's great!
Posted by
joyful
on Wednesday, August 18, 2010 at 1:38 pm
UPDATE: Joseph had his follow-up appointment yesterday to look at the development of his right hip socket. He passed with flying colors and that closes the book on this "medical condition." Thanks for your prayers!
Posted by
IrishOboe
on Wednesday, September 15, 2010 at 2:00 am
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