I am happy to report that I am no longer in a bad mood and have found myself closer to getting the ‘no reason happies’ than I have been in a good while. God has filled my heart and given me the strength to do the work given me and I have enjoyed the activities of the week even while they consumed my time and energy and I am not very exhausted on a Friday evening. No, I can’t prove that it is God and not something I ate, but at the same time I have no doubt. I still don’t understand His ways, but surely he provides what we need and nothing else can ever satisfy!
On to the week. Nothing very special happened looking form the outside, but I’m sure everyone can agree that depending on the attitude and mental state the activities that look the same on the outside are experience entirely differently.
To kick off the packed week we had ensemble rehearsal at 9am on Tuesday (I already wrote about Monday) so I went to school before then to practice harp. I’m sad to not go to Yoga anymore, but I’m thrilled with the extra practice time. The music we’re playing is quite a challenge for my unskilled hands, but I very much enjoyed making the improvements I could and didn’t fret about how I’m holding the others back or whether the teacher thinks I practice. Of course that made everything go very much better.
Notation is still terribly interesting to me even though it’s time consuming and sometimes frustrating. What’s the point of having division lines in the duplum (upper) and tenor (lower) parts if they don’t always line up? On the plus side, I looked at the first transcriptions I did and it feels a bit like an adult looking at kindergarten work. How cute! How little I knew back then! I find that a frustrating thing about music school. Unlike math where you prove something and it’s proved or you learn something and you apply it, there are few concrete accomplishments that show I’m getting anything for all my hard work. It was the same way at Eastman. I didn’t feel like I was learning much, but looking back I could see how far I’d come.
Unlike previously, I didn’t take a break for lunch or go home in the 2 ½ hour between classes, but did notation homework while eating my packed lunch and then practiced the rest of the time. Then I had another straight four hours of classes then zipped home to drop off my fiddle and go to Bible study. That sort of schedule should have exhausted me, but because I was so relaxed mentally and full emotionally I was energized rather than drained. I did fade at the end of Bible study and skipped out on desert to go home to bed.
Bible study was interesting this time. At first I thought I would rather have gone to the BCF social because we used the whole time to listen to pieces and discuss our reaction to them. As far as I could understand it had something to do with listening with believing ears, which is a reference to looking with believing eyes, but I don’t know where in the Bible that is. Anyway, I do enough critical listening to music, but this was mostly classical stuff and it was an interesting blast into the past since I haven’t heard such music in a while! As people spoke about what inspired good thoughts or deep thoughts or what seemed fake or spiritual or whatnot I gained an interesting perspective on people’s faith that I wouldn’t have expected from the exercise. Everyone comes from a different angle. Where I said I appreciated on piece because it shows that our walk with God is not just seriousness but it’s okay to be silly and dance with joy, another said that piece is trite and life is not happy all the time but far more complex. I agree, but where I think we’re all far too serious about our faith he thinks we’re far to lighthearted! Hm, Janet this something is too serious? I suppose I mean I don’t like to always speak of God with solemnity then go out and have our parties and fun ‘without’ Him. Our whole life should be integrated so that each moment of life is taken with the seriousness of eternity and with the joy of the Lord. Our play, our work, or life, our worship should swirl together in one harmonious whole with God infused and at the center of it all. I was happier working all day with God by my side then when I thought of only the breaks between classes as my own. I guess this is why I don’t like the idea of a 9-5 job, though I have learned that you don’t necessarily have to separate you’re life like that if you have such a job.
Anyway, I practiced in the morning before Wednesday’s classes as well. In harp class we had to harmonize a 17th c. base line and I was never very good at that in undergrad and I’ve forgotten most of it anyway. I unashamedly played my solution, which got a good number of laughs. The good news is that when we looked at the original solution I wasn’t completely lost and the better news is when I played through it myself later on it made a good deal of sense.
In ensemble lecture we discussed two of the pieces my group is doing, which hopefully will help us make sense of it. Of course, it helps to be able to play it in the first place, but two good things that came from the analysis where 1) I get to play more E-flats (chromatic playing is a pain on the gothic harp) and 2) it shouldn’t go very fast. The later means, of course, that I might actually be able to play it.
Funny quote of the day: “Maybe you’ve never had the experience, but I hate that feeling when you go into a lesson unprepared.” I would say I felt that way for 80% of the (private music) lessons I’ve gone to. I’m such a good faker if it looks like I’m in control all the time!
I again used my whole break (which was 2 ½ hours this time) to practice and finish notation homework. It felt so good to turn in the assignment the day after it was assigned and a full two days before it was due! I thought I’d been practicing an hour when I was kicked out of the room, but it turns out it’d been two!!! That’s good, only I have to be careful not to kill my body by not realizing how the time flies without breaks.
After two more hours of classes I took a break to go home and eat dinner with Veronika. I think such a pause is good for the mental health even though I didn’t get fiddle practice in that day. I went back to school for Renaissance dance and we were assaulted by a newspaper photographer who’s doing a story on Veronika. The dancing with sticks ordeal is getting better, though I still have a hard time when the sticks go double time and the feet stay the same. This time we added a move where one person holds the stick in both hands above the head and the partner jumps up and slams down on him while giving a yell. Luckily for me I had an enthusiastic French partner and we really went at each other. This is dangerous stuff, ladies and gentleman. Don’t try this at home. We also did some jumping over moving sticks, but this hasn’t quite worked out so well yet . . .
Thursday morning I did my Musicus and Cantor homework in the ½ hour before class and didn’t finish, but I didn’t stress. Ah, what a wonderful feeling. Of course it turned out fine and after class I did the homework for the next week. Now instead of having it on my to do list for a number of days before I do it at the last minute it is over and done with! Of course the key is not being a perfectionist with it, and doing the work during my breaks seems to help with that. I finished in time to practice some Baroque steps before renaissance class started. I’m starting to get used to one sequence of steps that have always been so difficult for me. Again, it’s amazing how working here and there between obligations can really result in progress.
After dinner at home I somehow found the energy to go back into school because I hadn’t practiced harp yet. The time flew again and I wondered how I’d been able to stay until 10:20 and not get kicked out! I did this because I’m scared. I agreed to play harp in the Christmas service this Sunday and as of last Sunday I hadn’t looked at the music. Not that I didn’t want to, but . . . So, I had to first of all write arrangements that I could play because the music I got was too hard. Then I had to simplify that because what I wrote for myself was too hard for me to learn in less than a week. Then I had to practice over and over until it was memorized and practice jumping back in when I mess up, which I surely will. I’m sure all will go well enough on Sunday and nobody will believe a word I say about not being good at harp and needing simple music and needing to practice a lot and ‘cheating’ my way through. Ha! It just occurred to me that rather than thinking everyone will be extra critical of me because I’m supposed to be a professional that they’ll assume I’ve played well because I’m supposed to. Nah, I just won’t worry about it and do my best, knowing that they won’t be watching me with all those adorable children around!
So I’ve not gotten quite as much sleep as I would like, but it hasn’t been too bad. I went to school early again today to practice harp. I understood most of history class and I did my German homework before class, which was enjoyable as usual. After I met with students to work on singing the notation stuff then I practiced harp until my body said it was tired of working. I came home at 4:30 fairly exhausted, but I’ve managed to do some homework and not fall into any quadrant four activities. That is unusual for me at the end of a hard week, but like I said, it was a good week, though action packed for my standards. I suppose I’m finally learning to get along without so much ‘at home’ time. It’s a good skill to have though I’d surely vote for more at home time if I could have it.
I’m also incredibly spoiled. Veronika has been doing most of the cooking (but I’m getting better at making salad dressing) and she and her guest have been buying treats for us all. Yesterday was St. Nicolas’s Day and here in Switzerland all the children get nuts and chocolate and such from the saint himself. I got some, too. :)
Praise God for his mercy and His grace! May the Lord of all keep your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus forever and ever, AMEN!
Ah, this kind of update makes my weekend!
