School started on Monday, but before then I had a lovely day of rest. BCFers do not properly appreciate how special it is to have a congregation that can 1) sing a three part cannon a cappella, and 2) can self direct into small groups to discuss personal applications to the sermon. I imagine at nearly any other church the direction of “get into groups and talk about it” would be greeted with blank stares and awkward shuffles.
I enjoyed the day of hanging out with folks then biked to Diana’s with Stephan to play games. She lives in Germany, which is not so close as it once was and my legs are not so strong as they once were so I arrived fairly tuckered out but managed to enjoy “Rook” which was enough like Pinnacle (is that how you spell it?) to play the wrong strategy. Unfortunately, I couldn’t blame all my space-cadet moves on that . . . I found another Boggle lover, though, so that will be fun!
In doing my Egoscue exercises I’ve been wondering why the wall press has been getting harder, not easier. Then I realized that my quads are getting stronger, but if you try a quad exercises after biking a few hours it makes it tougher . . .
Anyway, praise God that my shoulders have been doing much better. Thanks for your prayers.
Monday was the start of school but it’s all rather unclear and full of freedom, which is one of the main reasons why I decided to go back to school but still is the source of some frustration. I’m not as flustered as one might think because I have an idea what I’m getting into and I know something will work out in the end and I’m not desperate for a diploma. Speaking of which, they accepted my high school diploma with no questions. J Sadly, life wasn’t so easy for a new Russian student who gave her diploma to her conservatory in Russia and they won’t give it back and the Schola won’t take a copy. You’d think they’d be used to dealing with the school systems of different countries, but I guess rules are rules.
Speaking of different countries, at the new student meeting Monday night they had everyone stand up and introduce themselves. There’s only one other person from the US, one from Canada, and two from England. There are plenty of French, Spanish, and German students and also represented was Israel, Colombia, Russia, Japan, Portugal, Rumania, South Africa, Italy, and more I’m forgetting. Once it was established that almost everyone could understand some German they took off in the fastest German I’ve heard yet. Way to give an international welcoming! I managed to understand most of it (though that’s always a dangerous thing to say), but I felt for those less used to such a rapid rate of speaking.
Yet I’m ahead of myself again. It was fun to meet people and I started getting the new beginning excitement, but the hour before that meeting I sat watching the Tinguely fountain ready to cry. Early in the afternoon I’d registered at the secretary and gotten a sheet with the requirements for the medieval bachelors program since I wanted an idea of the order of classes. They have students in their first year taking over 20 hours of classes and no class meets more than once a week so I don’t know how many different classes that is or how much outside work is needed for each. After studying it and thinking for a while I began to wonder why I’d volunteered to bear the yoke of studenthood again. The sleepless nights and stressful ways of college life came back to me and my heart sank. I sat watching the fountains trying to gain a better perspective and convince myself that this time it would be different. As I sat I saw families playing with their children by the fountain and the sense of loss came over me with fresh strength. What am I doing away from my family? Why hasn’t God blessed me with my own family yet? Why did I choose to leave the ones I love to live halfway across the world to study something I know almost nothing about? What am I doing here and what am I doing with my life? The transition times are usually the hardest, with big highs and deep lows, the excitement of the new and the pain from the loss of the old still fresh. Yet “in every change, He faithful will remain” and as I said after meeting more students in the medieval program I am excited again. But I feel a deeper peace which is a gift from the Lord. “He will guide the future as He has the past.”
I went to women’s Bible study that night and was once again reminded that my problems and my life are not so very important and was encouraged by the faith of these women. They care for each other and managed to show it without any sarcasm (or irony). It’s a blessed relief. I noted it and then later said something ironic myself! How catching bad habits are. I’m sorry if I offend anyone by displaying my distaste for sarcasm, but I do not think it is of the Lord and I do not think it builds up and I’ve yet to hear a good reason for why it should be employed. I think it’s a miracle there aren’t more misunderstandings and hurt feelings than there usually are when it’s liberally used. I also personally think it’s often a sissy way to give a complement because a straight complement general exposes a bit of the self and thus can be dangerous, whereas a sarcastic one is made in complete self-protection. That last bit is just my personal theory, but those who are confident of their worth in the Lord are able to expose themselves by giving sincere complements and have no need for such silly cop outs. Humor and laughter is of the Lord, but if the only way to be funny is to be sarcastic there is a serious lack of imagination. Ouch. Maybe I aught to tell you how I really feel. Ooops! There I go again. I hate how it gets in my gut and becomes how I talk. I worked so hard to extract it from my speech! I wouldn’t go off on it if it was generally recognized as harmful, or at least not helpful, but it is generally accepted. Is a place where we can imitate the strong words of Jesus? Of course, I’m not facing anyone, only mouthing to my blog, which probably makes me a bigger wimp that my sarcastic friends. It’s just that I keep thinking I must be wrong since so many people I respect love it, but, but, but . . .
Well anyway, it looks like I’ll have class during the youth Bible study so I’ll probably end up going to this women’s one instead. I’ll be able to hang out with everyone Sunday, which will be nice. Otherwise I’d be tempted to cut that class.
Today was a breakfast social hour for new and old students and I met many more people from even more countries. Did you know that the Swedish papers publish a note every time the American papers get Sweden and Switzerland mixed up? I’m embarrassed for us.
It’s been an expected delight to hear all different languages around me. Conversations in the same circle of people will switch from German to English to French to Spanish at a moments notice. I’ve been pleased to follow some of the French, and though I had two years of Spanish I can’t follow it much. I managed to get out some Japanese with the new students, and if I didn’t have twenty hours of classes I’d love to spend serious time in at least French, Spanish and Japanese so I could learn more by following conversations. I suppose this is all run-of-the-mill for Europeans, but I’m having a blast with it. Oh, and Daddy, guess what? A Spaniard told me that in school they were told Americans are hard to understand compared to the British but that he could understand every word I said so I must have good diction. ;)
I had my first class today and realized that I missed a meeting Monday. I haven’t talked to the people involved to see what I missed yet. It’s easy to miss stuff with a student handbook and two bulletin boards with constantly changing information (in German no less so words you don’t know don’t grab your attention). I thought instrumentenkunde was an Ensemble class, but apparently it’s more of a history class about instruments. We start with the Bible. Would that be allowed in the states?
Not only did I miss a meeting I should have gone to, I have a meeting scheduled that apparently isn’t real and I can’t remember on what random sheet of paper I found the information so I think I’m just going crazy. Other than traditional confusion things seem to be slowly coming together. I have a vielle lesson time and still have too many classes, but I’ll start by going to them all then dropping the least interesting ones.
Pinochle. Odd, I know.
I agree with you for the most part about sarcastic humor. I don’t feel quite the same about irony in general, which I see as a legitimate literary tool that sometimes can get an idea across better than a more direct statement. But the whole point of sarcasm is to inflict a wound, and therefore we should be especially cautious with it. My own pet peeve is what I’d call mocking humor, which is similar, and unfortunately very common, even among Christians.
Thinking about this reminded me of what C. S. Lewis had to say about humor in The Screwtape Letters (senior devil writing to junior tempter about how to secure the damnation of a human soul). I’ve cut out a lot to keep the size down, but I hope it still makes the point.
I divide the causes of human laughter into Joy, Fun, the Joke Proper, and Flippancy. You will see the first among friends and lovers reunited on the eve of a holiday.... Fun is closely related to Joy—a sort of emotional froth arising from the play instinct.... The Joke Proper...turns on sudden perception of incongruity.... [Jokes are] invaluable as a means of destroying shame.... Cruelty is shameful—unless the cruel man can represent it as a practical joke. A thousand bawdy, or even blasphemous, jokes do not help towards a man’s damnation so much as his discovery that almost anything he wants to do can be done…if only it can get treated as a Joke.... But flippancy is the best of all. In the first place, it is very economical. Only a clever human can make a real Joke about virtue, or indeed about anything else; any of them can be trained to talk as if virtue were funny.... If prolonged, the habit of Flippancy builds up around a man the finest armour plating against the Enemy [the tempter’s name for God] that I know, and it is quite free from the dangers inherent in the other sources of laughter. It is a thousand miles away form joy; it deadens, instead of sharpening, the intellect; and it excites no affection between those who practise it.
I would be careful not to say the point of sarcasm is to inflict a wound because I know most people don't mean it that way. I'm not sure what they mean by it, but I at least try to have grace enough to realize they don't mean to hurt. I'd hope others would at least have enough grace for their 'weaker sister' to avoid it once they know I don't care for it, but as I've proven, it is hard to avoid once it has become a habit of the tongue.
As far as I know, the definition of sarcasm implies the intent to hurt. But I agree people often don't think of it that way. Perhaps we're looking for a different word?
Irony or satire? I looked up sarcasm because I felt there was a disconnect somewhere, and Merriam-Websters defines it as follows:
1 a sharp and often satirical or ironic utterance designed to cut or give pain
2 a: a mode of satirical wit depending for its effect on bitter, caustic, and often ironic language that is usually directed against an individual b: the use or language of sarcasm
I think a lot of us (myself included) confuse sarcasm and irony in particular. Many people use irony for humor, and I'd agree it has the potential for hurt or confusion. I find myself sometimes expecting my interlocutor to understand ironic or silly comments the right way too soon in a friendship and react with surprise when he takes it for straight, unmodulated opinion. Myself, I usually default to thinking that if someone says something that's not blatantly offensive, he's probably trying to be funny.
Despite the risks, irony adds richness and complexity to our language; eliminating it, lest it be proposed, will not cure our global endemic of misunderestimanding. Even straight talk can be suspected of double meaning.
Part of the problem, I believe, is that (to paraphrase C.S. Lewis), very few people can do it right, and those who can't resort to sarcasm. There is an epidemic of it here in the U.S. At first I saw it mainly among teen and pre-teen boys, akin to the kind of "humor" that has them punching, kicking, and tripping each other "in fun" -- which I have never understood nor appreciated. I don't mean honest wrestling or sparring, but a desire to score against another by catching him off guard and thus prove yourself superior? I don't know, as I said, I've never understood the motivation. But recently (20 years?) it's become more verbal, and I remember carpooling boys and having them talk about "dissing" one another -- disrespectful talk designed to hurt. This in no way enriches language, nor relationships.
Worse, I've now seen this (along with other behaviors people used to outgrow) among adults, mostly men, and sad to say often in the church, where mocking others seems to be considered a high form of humor. I don't mean to pick on the church -- it's much worse elsewhere; I just don't see why it should be used amongst Christians at all!
I don't mean irony or satire, both of which I can appreciate and enjoy at the right time and place. But our country, especially in the media and in public schools, has been badly infected by the counterfeit of these useful tools, used not to illustrate a point from a different angle, but to hurt, to attack, to mock, and to elevate the speaker at the expense of others.
By the way, I LOVE "misunderestimanding"! I'm not exactly sure what it means, but it's a great word.
Paderevski used to say, "I'm here to talk to you about a country that is not yours in a language that is not mine." I don't know why I thought about this when I was reading about your episode by the fountain. I'm sorry you are experiencing sadness and loss by being away from your family and wondering about your future family. Loneliness can be a such a hard enemy. I pray that God will continue to comfort you and show you the direction that He wants you to take with the life that He has given you.
A small part from a devotion that I recently read:
"...that for whatever reason God chose to make man as he is - limited and suffering and subject to sorrows and death - he (God) had the honesty and the courage to take his own medicine. Whatever game he is playing with his creation, he has kept his own rules and played fair. He can exact nothing from man that he has not exacted from himself.
He has himself gone through the whole of human experience, from the trivial irritations for family life and the cramping restrictions of hard work and lack of money to the worst horrors of pain and humiliation, defeat, despair, and death. When he was a man, he played the man. He was born in poverty and died in disgrace and thought it well worthwhile..." Dorothy Sayers
Later the devotion talks about how most people wouldn't call Jesus a success. After all, he was brutally murdered while naked in front of his own mother. It also talks about how Jesus ensured the future care of his mother by entrusting her, not to any of his brothers and sisters (who may not have been believers at the time), but to John, his true brother and a believer.
We as Christians are meant to be true family to each other, whereas sometimes our physical family does not fulfill all that we hope, seek, and desire. It would be nice if we could find kindness, understanding, and love within the walls of our own homes, but it doesn't always happen that way, and this has brought me much sadness.
As I was reading the quote I knew I had to read more by the author...then when I realized it was Dorothy Sayers I knew I already had. :)
Rook is like bridge by the way.
Ah, apparently I didn't know the definition of sarcasm. I looked it up based on sursumcorda's remark about the intent to hurt. Any conversation we have had about sarcasm was without the knowledge of the definition. I'll have to find the right word that I mean when I say "sarcastic". I don't think it is exactly irony, though I need to think about it some more.
How about 'tongue in cheek.' I have been thinking about this for a while (sad, I know) because I too didn't realize sarcasm by definition involved a cruel intent. I would have characterized Janet's earlier blog with the obviously false statements as an example of sarcasm - which would be ironic given this post and comments. I think it is fair to say that blog was tongue in cheek, so is it accurate to extend that too many other examples of what was inaccurately (by at least me) labeled as sarcasm?
I see no place for the sarcasm as defined above. I do see a place for irony and satire. As dstb points out, I just made a post meaning the opposite of all I said. I hoped it was clear in that case, and that’s the most important bit. It must be clear. Once in high school (when everybody said the opposite of what he meant all the time) I had a friend of over a year respond to my comment that I’m frequently sarcastic (in the tongue in cheek way) in all seriousness with “You’re never sarcastic!” I shuddered to think of all the things I’d said that he actually thought I meant. That was my first warning: not everyone gets it, and that’s dangerous!
Stephan’s comment “Even straight talk can be suspected of double meaning.” bothers me a great deal because it’s true. I don’t know how many times people have tried so hard to figure me out or find the real motivation for what I do or whatnot and after years finally conclude that I mean what I say and hide almost nothing (wish I could). If one cannot be believed when speaking directly, there’s no hope for any further development and it’s sure to cause more misunderstanding! Oops, maybe that’s an argument for saying the opposite like everyone else, but then it still wouldn’t be believed that I was saying the opposite . . . Anyway, I wish people would just say what they mean and believe me when I say what I mean. This can be done with any number of literary devices, but knowing the audience is key. Being more concerned for your fellow than for your brilliant wit is a good place to start, but a hard one. Have you ever tried to spend an evening more concerned for those around you than yourself? I’ve never managed it.
Thanks for the quote, Jimmy. I need to read more Sayers.
