Hello all! The old Janet is back! Her struggles are far from over, but praise God her feelings are back to their giddy selves. Thanks for bearing with me, praying, and sending notes! Aunt Sarah sent an update with a love note from Billy. J Aunt Prudence sent a note with a gift from Jay’s store. They stories never end, and what did he find in the dump this time but a five Euro note in a new shirt pocket! I’ve been advised to go eat ice cream in Germany, a command which I will happily obey.
It’s also great to get the lips back on the old oboe. Poor thing has been so neglected, but I’m afraid it was necessary. What joy to not worry about being perfect and just play to bless others! It’s been a long time, but I can still express myself better on oboe than these new instruments. Maybe the inability to express myself musically was finally catching up with me. Anyway, I was able to fix up an old read Sunday morning so I could play comfortably in the service. I played on two praise songs, one of which I didn’t know so well, “Great is the Lord and most worthy of praise” and the other I learned in Japan and love “In heavenly armor (The battle belongs to the Lord).” With all the music and chords I was able to improvise some harmony and simple counter melodies on Great is the Lord. I was fairly pleased with how it worked out. You can teach an old dog new tricks! The improv. on Heavenly Armor didn’t go so well, but nothing was glaring. It just made me giggle at myself, which is a vast improvement over self-loathing. A church without a music director learns to appreciate its volunteer musicians, so I was rewarded with many heartfelt complements. My only great disappointment was that we sang Be Thou My Vison and I didn’t get to play. That is such a wonderful oboe piece! Nils did a fine job on his whistles, though, and I got to sing, so that’s good.
I’ve been rethinking the interpretation of the last verse. I mentioned before that I didn’t quite understand “High King of heaven, my victory won, may I reach heaven’s joys, oh bright heavens sun!” It seemed to cast doubt on our reaching heaven and seemed to put the burden on us (and the battle belongs to the Lord!). What if you read it like this: we know we will reach heaven’s joys, but may we reach it having won the victory in the trials God has sent our way. May we come home having accomplished the tasks God has given us. This reading would give me strength to fight the good fight knowing that I want to reach heaven’s joys with my victory won, not lost! Thoughts?
After a long social hour and a lunch at Wongs with the gang, which for those of who you know I hate cliques with a passion, is different every time, we played Frisbee in another park. On the way there my dear ‘twin’ Catharine and I stopped at nearly the same instant to smell the flowers we were passing. Ah, how I’ll miss that girl! I still am not used to how crowded and small things are in a city, but we managed to find some space in the park and have a good Frisbee toss. We didn’t actually hit anybody . . .
Then, to my delight, Stephan and Nicola (is that how her name is spelled, Stephan?) agreed to get ice cream and speak in Swiss German to help me learn. The two of them were able to talk about whatever came to mind and I mostly listened, figuring things out from context and getting the sound in my ears. I was pleasantly surprised with how much I was able to understand, though I am unable to say hardly anything. It really is a pretty language, and it was fun to learn but not feel like they were suffering to help me. Some things are so very different as it make it unintelligible, but not everything, and it only takes a little to keep my going. I’ve been feeling the pains of the English bubble recently, which I’m sure has contributed to my depression. Three teachers in the medieval department are American so the lessons are in English, church is in English, Bible study: English, etc. etc. Not that there’s anything wrong with actually learning to speak English correctly. ;)
So, I suppose there’s not much to say. I have a busy week ahead of me, but I thought I’d share that I’m feeling more up than down and alleviate some of the worries I might have caused in my previous posts, but don’t stop praying!
Love,
Janet
I do like that interpretation of the Be Thou My Vision line. It does, however, make me all the more annoyed with Hymnal 1982's alteration of the line to read, "High King of Heaven, when victory's won..." -- though that's a minor change relative to the politically correct line. Not that one can necessarily complain when the song's a translation, anyway. But, much as the Trinity Hymnal annoys me in other ways, they really do Be Thou My Vision right, complete with the "Be Thous My Battle Shield" line.
I also find I can sing more hymns and even praise songs with gusto if I find a good way to interpret lines that bother me. I still trip over those words that have been altered for PC reasons, however -- though I try to remember that they are more meaningful to some people that way.
We DO have wonderful relatives, don't we? :)
As much as I've whined about the BCF hymnal, I do have to hand it to them that they get the words of Be Thou My Vision right even if they leave out a verse. Why is it Thous with and 's' in the battle shield line?
Of course we have the best family in the world! When I feel the sun and hear the water I cannot wait to see you all at the Maggie! Of course, one of the grand things about the family is that anyone is welcome in it. I have to watch out not to offend my other faithful readers. ;)
"Why is it Thous with and 's' in the battle shield line?" Because I can't type (or proofread) apparently. :)
Will you be willing to play Ultimate Frisbee at the Maggie? David, Tommy and Billy have been playing on Sunday afternoons with a group of other families. Tommy lives for it (that, and the Stanley Cup playoffs). I am not sure just tossing the frisbee around will suffice for him!
We made our hotel reservations, so we are all set! Can't wait to see you!
Oh yes! Finally a way into Tommy's heart! I've never played Ultimate Frisbee, we just toss it around, but anything is fine. Every time I feel the sun on my skin and hear the sound of water I get giddy about this summer! I wonder how much my cousins and nephews have grown in ten months. Can't wait to see.
I've already spent five Euros from the dump on ice cream for two. I still have 3.20 left. I love Germany. :)
LOL—Iwas wondering whether "thous" was a precedent for "youse," as in "What youse lookin' at, pal?"
On the hope of finding ourselves at heaven with "victory won," it's certainly preferable to an uncertainty-of-salvation meaning. However, I have some misgivings personally about the former idea. I recently heard a message in which the speaker was concerned that he might get to heaven and find out that he didn't do all that God "had" for him. (I'm also not clear how he reconciled the possibility of that with assertions of God's minute sovereignty earlier in the message, but that's another story.) That he might hear, not "Well done, thou good and faithful servant," but "Welcome—I love you—my blood covers your mistakes—" ...but "mediocre." I haven't decided yet whether I reject this concept outright, but I find it troubling in the same way that I find the (much more biblically supported) idea that our work on earth will be reflected in heaven—the idea of relative "mansions," of eternal reward or just getting in by the skin of my teeth ("escaping through the flames"—http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1%20Corinthians%203%20;&version=47;). My problem is that there is supposed to be nothing but gladness in heaven, and I find it very hard to imagine not feeling sadness, let alone public humiliation, at a daily reminder of my mismanagement of what was entrusted to me. Maybe that's just because our sinful minds will be so converted that we can be sincerely glad for our neighbor's record of faithfulness, or that the joy of glorifying God will eclipse personal preoccupation with our shortcomings—but I still find it challenging.
I think I'd rather ascribe that line to the practice of phrasing certainties as wishes—"May the Lord bless you and keep you," "May God be glorified," etc. I'd never thought about it, but I guess I'd always sung it as such.
Maybe that's just because our sinful minds will be so converted that we can be sincerely glad for our neighbor's record of faithfulness, or that the joy of glorifying God will eclipse personal preoccupation with our shortcomings—but I still find it challenging.
Or maybe we will even then have the opportunity, which we will regard as glorious service, to complete and build upon that which we have not completed on earth -- and also that which we have completed. (A la C. S. Lewis The Great Divorce.)
Revelation 21:4 And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.
I have heard it said that in order for God to wipe away our tears, we must have been crying to begin with - and not just a sense of crying from the old life, but the tears coming from the judgement time, either our own, or other's.
I figure that is one of those doctrines that doesn't matter too much, so haven't thought much about it.
PS. Apparently I am British for my spelling of "judgement", Firefox says it shouldn't have the first 'e', and dictionary.com says that with the 'e' is a more British spelling.
Thanks, Jon! I was feeling insecure about my spelling (and I know I'm a good speller) because the spell checker complained about "judgement," which is the way I've always spelled it. Now I know it's just because I read so many British novels as a child. :)
You can get a taste of what the oboe can do for Be Thou My Vision by clicking here and listening to the sample of track 3 of Faith Songs by Against the Grain, the unlikely and incomparable duo of oboe (Tom Boyd) and harmonica (Tommy Morgan). We first heard them them at the International Double Reed Society conference in 1996. They are amazing! Both are studio musicians and met on the set of Dances with Wolves. If you ever hear harmonica on television or in the movies, it's most likely Tommy Morgan. He did most of the sublime arrangements on Faith Songs.
Although I'm not bold enough to just use them, I like most British spellings better. When I was 16 a friend and I had a long analysis of why "grey" sounded more artistic than "gray." And "flavour" feels better in the mouth, and "colour" seems more colorful. (I'm not nuts about writing cheques, though, or standing in queues.)
Re: BTMV. It's poetry, and I don't think I understand "Heart of my own heart," so perhaps I'm unqualified to comment (much less pass judg[e]ment), but I tend to side with Andy here. I see "May I reach heaven's joys" as an expression of desire first and foremost, not of doubt or uncertainty or even a request of permission. The lines are so oddly fragmented that I'm not even sure what the subject is of "my victory won" - is that expressing that I have won my victory or that the "High King of heaven" has, for me? The versification is a little opaque to me.
Re: British: Neighbourhood Centres of the World, Organise!
