IrishOboe

At the morning meeting January 30^th the principal told us that Erika, a second year girl, had died suddenly the night before. They don’t seem to be very open about the cause of death, but I was told the girl had bipolar disorder and died of “heart failure.” I don’t know what that means, but whatever the case it is tragic. Her funeral was today (Wednesday Feb. 1^st) and I went with the rest of the school to pay my respects. Basically all we did was walk in, bow, and leave, which was quite different from any funeral I’ve been to. I found out later that ashes are often kept in the family home for a while, so the actual burial is a much more private affair that happens much later.

This morning I heard her class (2-6) singing some very haunting melodies. I had thought they were for the funeral, but there was no service during which they could have performed it. I wonder if it’s just their way of grieving. This has reminded me that I am in a foreign place. They may look like us, but their traditions are exotic and unfamiliar. What does one say? What does one do? I decided to participate the way other teachers did with a thought to be “all things to all people.” Giving the family money, bowing to the families and the ashes I can do since I know more of what a bow means here, but clapping four times in prayer, wiping my hands and being sprinkled with salt was a bit more uncomfortable. I didn’t want to appear rude by refusing, and I have no fear of power in those actions themselves, but what does it communicate to the other students and teachers? I don’t think there’s an easy answer. I hope to communicate love and support so when there’s time to proclaim the Good News they know it’s from someone who cares.