IrishOboe

This week the list of things to be thankful for could and should go on and on, so I just went with the first things that came to mind.

1. Our beautiful, healthy, happy, sweet, precious little baby girl.  She brings such joy to our hearts!
2. The after-birth pains are gone.  There are plenty of things they don’t tell you about childbirth, and one of them is that the after-birth contractions get fiercer and stronger and more painful after each birth.  I didn’t remember them with Joseph, but after going through labor and birth and you think it’s all over it is rather annoying to be woken up with contractions and cramps.  Anyway, I’m thankful they are finished!
3. My children have a wonderful daddy who loves them and holds them and plays with them.  He’s also doing the cooking while I have “time off” for recovery.  I’m plenty busy, but it is nice to have a break from the normal household tasks.
4. With no stitches to heal I am feeling great!
5. Grandma’s help with everything from dishes and laundry to taking care of Joseph in the morning so we can sleep in to being there for talking and sharing ideas to cleaning to taking Joseph and/or Vivienne for walks so we can have a break.
6. My breasts are whole!  Sorry if that is TMI, but with Joseph I was injured for a month and every feeding was excruciating.  The fact that I can simply put Vivienne to the breast and look adoringly at her and let the mother-love flow is a blessing I treasure beyond expression.
7. Did I mention I’m thankful that I AM NOT IN PAIN?  Praise the Lord!

The rest of the story, for those who like the details . . .

 (More)

On January 21^st, 2012 we welcomed a precious little girl into our family.  Vivienne Linda Stücklin was born at home at 12:26pm.  She weighed 3840g and was 53cm.  We are a healthy and happy family and are so very thankful for all of God’s blessings and provisions.  Pictures coming soon in the usual place.  Birth story to come.

Things I am thankful for in no particular order:

1. Our baby is still healthy and moving plentifully (it’s uncomfortable but reassuring as I’m now a few days past due).
2. A new mattress!  The one we had sagged in places and made nursing difficult because we’d roll into each other.  Our little one waiting a bit gave us time to go IKEA shopping and get one!
3. I’m caught up with the finances!  Mom’s time with Joseph and help with the household means more computer and project time for me.  I went through some receipts from 2010(!) and tied up other loose ends that have been sitting around for a good while.  That feels good!
4. A chance to win the baby pool.  Today was my guess for baby’s arrival.  I hope I’m right!
5. My kitchen fairy, who also happens to be my son’s favorite companion at the moment.
6. Extra nesting time.  I’m ready for this baby to join us, but I’m enjoying getting the house in even more order before then.
7. Our beautiful and capable little boy.  He can take off his hat, jacket, mittens and shoes and puts his shoes away when we comes in from outside.  I gave him a haircut (another luxury this late baby allowed us) and he looks older and I find myself wondering how and when such a sweet boy entered our lives!  Sometimes I really feel like I’m saying goodbye and not goodnight when I put him to bed because he’s a like a new boy each morning he’s growing so quickly!

‘Way back in September I gave an incomplete review of Mortimer Adler’s “How to Read a Book” and said that last point would have to wait.  It’s a topic rather dear to my heart, so I find it hard to find the right words to express it.  I've worked on this part on and off for a while and I’m not in a position right now to do it real justice, so I’ll just have to settle on some quotes and comments.  Sorry to disappoint those who wanted more, but if I don’t get something in before the baby comes it won’t happen at all!

 (More)

Things I am thankful for in no particular order (and the list could go on):

1. Computer time!  This quick thanks is on time because Mom allows me to get some computer time!  Yesterday I spend most of the day catching up on financial stuff and she and Joseph had a ball.  I’m soaking it in while I can.
2. Nap time!  The other day I was tired and Joseph wasn’t.  I asked Mom to take over so I could nap.  It feels so good to follow your body signals, especially after 1 ½ years of having to ignore them.  I’m soaking it in while I can!
3. Grandma and Joseph bonding time.  Being so far from family isn’t easy, but it is always such a blessing to see how well family comes together and loves each other using the time available for the best.  Joseph loves Grandma and of course Grandma loves playing with Joseph.  It’s lovely to see.
4. Time and help for cooking freezer meals for when help is gone and I’ve got a toddler and an infant and have to keep house and cook alone . . .
5. Christmas with Grandma!
6. A supportive church community.
7. A husband who gets along well with his mother-in-law (and vice-versa) even if it means they sometimes enjoy their conversation so much they don’t notice Joseph’s needs. ;) 

If I can’t blog regularly on Fridays before the baby’s here I doubt I’ll keep it up after.  It was fun while it lasted.  It’s hard to believe I’ve been doing it for 11 weeks!

Things I am thankful for in no particular order:

1. A new year.  I love fresh starts!
2. Friends who stick by you and make the trek to see you.
3. Three years of marriage and it’s not long enough by far!
4. The best husband I could ask for.
5. The baby waited until . . .
6. . . . Mom arrived safely!
7. Some family time before life gets crazy!

By popular demand, here are some photos.  I purposely didn't straighten everything up because even though my desk is mostly clean, there's nearly always an odd or end I haven't taken care of yet.

Overview of my desk.

Blue Drawer Detail

Inbox and Action List detail.  I use the At Home and At Computer the most, so they are in their own slot.  All others sit below it.

Tickler.  A have a few folders of reference material I access a lot and want handy (i.e. not in the general reference file).  This includes the trash/recycling plan and the paper where I jot down notes for the blog that mostly become part of bullet updates.

Project Folders.  I reduced these down to two in preparation for the baby.  Normally I have 6-10.

General reference files.  No pretty, but functional.  One step at a time!

At Computer and At Home action lists.  I normally don't prioritize, but I put stars down the right side for things that HAD to be done before the birth.  Otherwise I'd be tempted with all the things I'd LIKE to do before birth.

Detail showing how the plastic sleeves works.

Thanks for watching! Hope this makes some things clearer.

(These photos refer to blog posts "Life In Review: Celebrating Two Years of Tickler Success: Part I, Part II and Part III.)

Tomorrow my mother arrives.  When she leaves we will be a family of four (God willing and the creek don’t rise).  Life will never be the same again.  That’s a bit scary, but we’re going to have a fabulous time!!

Dec. 24-26: In my 7 Thanks I said as much as that we had a wonderful time around Christmas with family but got sick took most of the week to recover, but recover we did, thankfully.

Dec. 30: I must acknowledge that official “sit-down” homeschooling has begun with Joseph.  He loves his alphabet puzzle so much and he loves the alphabet so much that he will often get out his colored pencils and a piece of paper and beg me to write the (upper case) alphabet for him to identify.  He likes it when I write the letters in a random order and let him identify them one at a time.  In other words, he likes being quizzed at 1 ½!

Jan. 1: Gotte D. came for lunch and we all enjoyed it immensely.  I had false labor at the start of her visit, but fortunately that was as exciting as it got.

Jan. 2: Stephan and I cashed in on a voucher from his folks to watch Joseph while we celebrated three years of marriage a night early.  We went into Lucerne and enjoyed a dinner out.  We got dressed up with heels and tie.  I figured it would be the last time in a while.  What a three years it’s been!  It feels like a lifetime and we had fun trying to recall pre-dating and dating life.  Even marriage without kids seems like a distant memory.  One thing can be said for sure about how long we’ve been married: not long enough!

Jan. 4: Today I sat reading on the couch while Joseph played with Legos.  Next then I knew he’d put every Lego away in the box, put the lid on and put the box back in the shelf where it belongs and then casually turned to something else.  I do a lot of picking up with him, and he sees me pick up after myself right away (usually), but somehow it still amazes me when he initiates it himself!

-Today he also did the whole alphabet puzzle by himself (with me watching and cheering him on).  The alphabet puzzles is always the first toy he goes for in the morning and after naps.  He takes that out and then asks for the number puzzle he got for Christmas saying “hum.” 

Jan. 5: Today Joseph pointed to the 9 in his number puzzle and said “nüün” to Stephan and then turned to me and said “nine.”  He repeated this, obviously very proud of himself.

-I let (!) Joseph play with a tack and paper that’s on my desk.  He successfully pushed the tack through the whole that was already in the paper.

- He’s started to let me know he needs to go potty by walking to the bathroom, grabbing a book and sitting on the pot with his clothes on.  We’ve started working on getting his pants off himself, but there’s a ways to go yet.  So far he’s waited to go until I’ve helped him get his clothes off.  EC has been very on/off and hit/miss.  I’m relaxed about it at this point and just potty him when I can and leave him in diapers or training pants otherwise.

(This is continued from Part I and Part II)

The System (Continued)

1. General File System (see Part II)
2. Tickler (see Part II)
3. Calendar (see Part II)
4. Actions Lists.  These lists sit right at hand in slots directly under my inbox.  These are not your ordinary “to do” lists.  They are lists designed to make a spare moment as productive as possible.  Now that I’m a stay-at-home-mom the main lists I use are “At Home.” “At Computer,” and “With Stephan.”  I also have an “Errands” and “Calls” list and I still have a “With People” “At Anywhere” and a “Waiting For” list, but I don’t use them as much anymore.  As you can see the lists are divided by location or necessary ‘equipment,’ such as the computer, a phone, or a specific person.  This means whenever I am in a specific place, with a specific person, or have the use of a specific devise I can use the time immediately and effectively because I can pull out a list of things relevant to that situation.  The only thing I need to decide and scan for is the best item to pick given the time I have, my energy level, and the importance of the task.  There is no order to the list, I just add and check off as I go along.  I really appreciate the GTD idea that you can’t prioritize now what needs to be done tomorrow – priorities are always changing because you never know when a child will get sick or the weather will turn too beautiful to stay inside.  The decision of what to do with my time is made at each moment fairly effortlessly because the state of affairs is always at my fingertips.  I LOVE the sense of freedom and peace this gives me!  I can fully enjoy playing with Joseph, or taking the time for a friend knowing that nothing pressing is waiting to get done.  I can also more easily refuse an invitation or tell a friend I cannot talk at the moment because I know exactly what is waiting to be done and why it needs to get done.  Then I can DO it because each item on an Action List is carefully kept to one simple step and all necessary information or tools is referenced or in the plastic sleeve itself.  For example, I have a entry on my “At Computer” list that says to research an exercise class for those recovering from birth.  A simple (ss) after the entry tells me to “see sheet” and in the plastic sleeve there is the brochure for the class with the website on it.  If the items are listed well there is no need to procrastinate because I need to do something before I can do the task itself.  It’s just one step and I can check it off, though of course usually a task generates another task, but you can at least check something off right away.  Let me give an example from inbox to action list.  A lady at church gave me her number because she offered to help out once the baby arrived.  Before, the number would sit on my desk waiting for me to have the guts to make the phone call (and most of you know that’s a HUGE barrier for me).  With the system, the piece of paper got tossed into my inbox right after church.  When I processed my inbox I asked myself “What is the very next babystep that needs to happen with this?”  For some, just putting it on the “calls” list would be enough, but not for me.  I decided to put an item on my “At Home” list that says “plan a get-to-know-you meeting with (name) so she can help with the baby when here. (ss)” and then chucked the phone number paper in the plastic sleeve.  Once I do this task (which is just thinking) I’ll have a clearer vision of what I want to say when I call her up, so I can then put an entry on my “Calls” list that states specifically (in brief) what I will say and ask when I make the call.  Then when I have a moment of peace by the phone I can look at my “Calls” list (or I may decide to schedule the call) and everything I need is there: the name, the number, and basically what I want to say.  Now there is very little to keep me from just holding my breath, picking up the phone and getting the call done.  Of course for some that is ‘way too many steps for a simple phone call, but for me, it’s what I need to actually get it done with as little guilt and little time as possible.  At least this way things keep moving bit by bit rather that stagnating and building up inertia and a “oh that task - I really don’t want to do that one” stigma.  As I wrote that last sentence (pointless aside: I really dislike it when authors write things like that in their prose, but I’m a blogger just trying to get some ideas down before bedtime) Stephan interrupted me with a question and it reminded me that I wanted to give some money to a certain cause.  I could have written the task down directly on a list, but because I like to make the items on my list as simple and easy to do as possible I prefer to jot down the thought and toss it in my inbox.  Soon enough I’ll process the inbox and be able to do the necessary thinking to properly prepare for taking action.  At the moment, I don’t want to take that time away from the precious computer time I have to get my thoughts down for the blog.  Besides, I’d get derailed.  Now where was I?  Action lists.  That pretty much explains them.  When the paper gets full (one single column of tasks) I review each remaining task and either transfer it to a new sheet of paper, rewrite it because I’m procrastinating on it for some reason and have to identify a smaller first step, or decide it’s no longer necessary and cross it off.  A list that’s getting full inspires taking care of lingering tasks so I don’t have to transfer them, and the lists always stay pretty and clear.  No more scraps of chicken scratch lists still lying around because there’s one or two items still not complete!
5. Project Folders:  These folders sit on my desk also within easy reach.  Like the general reference files, each one is just a manila-type folder with a post-it label.  Because they are active folders they are at-hand rather than filed (aka buried) with the reference folders.  David Allen of “Getting Things Done” defines a project as anything with more than one discrete task.  I’m a bit looser with the definition and generally define a project as anything where the discrete tasks don’t flow naturally one to the next and thus need some level of organization.  My example of receiving the phone number from the lady at church is a good example.  I made it more than one step, but I don’t need to make a project folder for it because each next step is fairly obvious to me.  Other projects need more organization, for example, I had a “Christmas” project folder in which I organized everything for the holiday and surrounding activities.  When it came time to think about Christmas, I made a folder and started with a brainstorming session.  I use the Natural Planning Method suggested in GTD.  First define the purpose and principles (and write them down on a clean sheet of paper with the project name as a heading) then jot down your vision – what would WILD SUCCESS look like?  Don’t worry, this doesn’t violate the “good enough is better than perfect” principle – this is just a brainstorm, not a “to do” list.  It helps to define what’s important to you want if you let yourself dream big.  Next is the “brainstorm” where you jot down every idea that comes to mind without judging it – just let the ideas flow from mind to paper.  Cutting and choosing comes later.  I usually do those three steps at the same time and then feel pretty tired but much better because all my ideas and worries and “must remember to do this” thoughts are captured in a place where I know they won’t be forgotten.  Later I do the “organization” phase where I evaluate all or some of the brainstorm ideas (depending on how big the project is this can take several iterations), prioritize them, and break them down into “next actions” so I can enter them into my Action Lists.  Not every project needs quite that much organization and thought.  I have a master project list that sits with the project folders and is called “Current Projects: List and Loose” where I keep a master list of all the currently ACTIVE projects.  I box the ones that have their own project folder so I can see the state of things at a glance.  An example of a project that doesn’t need a folder is renewing my alien card.  There were a number of different documents I had to gather from difference sources so it was a multi-step project I didn’t want to loose sight of but it was pretty straight forward and didn’t have lots of papers associated with it so it didn’t need a brainstorm or a separate folder.  Whew!  If you’re still with me, I’m impressed!
6. Trash or Recycling: Nothing fancy here – just get rid of guilt and clutter!

The system needs review, tweaking, and general work against entropy, but that can wait for another time.  Basically, the system breaks everything down into such little pieces that when things start to unravel all you have to do is pick one of the pieces to bring back to speed and you can move onto the next and get everything back in order fairly easily.  Now when I feel life is getting too scattered, the system is fraying and I feel like I need to “just get my head together” I can take an hour or so and really get my head together.  I don’t let myself DO any task, I just get things back into an orderly state so I have proper perspective on what there is to do and have peace about where I stand and how I’ll move forward (and the courage to cut things if it’s really too much!).  What peace!

My email system/inbox doesn’t work quite as well, but it’s getting there.

And there you have it, my life exposed.  If you got through it all I hope you found some of it useful!  All the best at finding the system that works for you!

Photos

(This post is continued from Part I)

The System

On bad days I do very little work in the system, but I almost always make sure I clean up for the next day.  It doesn’t take much, I just pick up the floors and go through the stuff on my desk, most of which I just throw into my inbox.  The inbox is the place for everything without a place.  On bad days, it’s so lovely to have an inbox to collect all that comes my way and still keep a relatively clean place.  Lunch is burning, Joseph needs me, and I remember something I mustn’t forget.  No problem, I just jot a note and throw it in my inbox – lunch and Joseph can wait that long.

Even on bad days I (almost) always check my Tickler and plan the next day before I go to bed.  It doesn’t take much time because most of the thinking has been done already and there are just reminders in my calendar and Tickler and I try to be very realistic about what I can accomplish in a day.  Usually I stick to what has been scheduled and add just one, most important thing that would make a big impact if I got it done (thanks Tim Ferris).  Just ONE.  That’s hard, but if I stick to it, it is surprisingly effective.  I can’t use the many things on my “to do” lists to procrastinate on what is most important and I end the day feeling good about what I’ve accomplished because it was, after all, important.  Besides, I often end up getting more done than that one thing because once that one thing is out of the way I get a burst of productive energy (like when you’ve finally turned in that paper that’s been hanging over your head).

In order for the inbox to work, it MUST NOT breed mosquitoes.  It must not stagnate.  I have varying success with this, but a few keys keep the turnover going.

1. Processing the inbox does NOT mean doing it means THINKING.
2. Pick up ONE item and THINK.  You must decide what the very next thing that should be done with it, but you don’t have to DO it.  In fact, you shouldn’t do it unless it would take less time to do it than to write it down into the system.
3. Do NOT put the item down and say “I’ll decide later.”  Decide on each item before moving on to the next.  Often this shows me that I really don’t want or need to take the time to do whatever it is so I chuck it – no guilt and no mess on the desk!
4. Regularly process the inbox so it doesn’t pile up.  I find it works well to go through some of the inbox while my computer is booting.  I usually empty it before Windows is ready for me.  (Something positive about the “Bill Gates tax.”)

Just this much keeps my desk space clean and pretty and keeps me “in the know” with all I have to do and I have peace of mind that nothing important is languishing someplace in the clutter.

On bad days you can see that almost nothing gets done accept one key thing: I’m prepared for the next day.  I used to crash into bed exhausted and unsure how I’d survive the next day.  Now I go to bed confident that I have a decent shot at it and a clean house and desk to great me in the morning to boot.  That is quite a gift.

Many days I don’t have much time to get to anything but the planned tasks because I have a beautiful son whose growth requires plenty of investment, but usually I can be there for him with my full attention because I know where I stand and know just what does and does not need to get done that day.  On these days the house stays clean, the family is fed by a calm mama who has taken some time to rest during the day, and I go to bed ready for the next day.  That didn’t used to be the norm.  In the past I would have called that a very good day.

On good days the systems really shines.  Just an unexpected hour to myself and I can rip through so many tasks because it is all ready and prepared for me.  Here’s how I work it.

Each paper item from my inbox goes into one of the following places: a general file system, my personal diary (calendar), the tickler, an action list, a project folder, or the trash.  Non-paper items get put away or assigned a new home.  Here I’ll focus on paper since that’s most of what’s coming in on a daily basis anyway.  There isn’t the time and space to write about how I got the system up and running and the many iterations of tweaking I’ve done to make it suit my needs, but if you’re interested in hearing more I’ll be happy to share!

1. The General File System: We have a lovely four-drawer file cabinet we got on ebay, so we have no guilt in being “wasteful” with our file system.  We use the equivalent of manila folders with a post-it for a label.  This makes it easy to make a new folder and to recycle folders in a jiffy since we don’t bother with hanging folders (though there are some here and there to keep things up upright).  There’s a folder for each different item or related documents.  It was SO hard at first to make a folder for one piece of paper, but it is much easier to find things when they are not grouped and headed and sub-foldered, if that’s a word.  The whole system is A-Z and folder are labeled by topic, person, project, or company with no more than one subcategory (for example Garden:Ideas and Garden: Catelogues; not Free Time:Janet:Garden:Ideas).  I don’t have to get up from my chair to reach the materials for making a folder and at first I had the “topic, person, project or company” reminder with the materials as well since my conservationist tendency is to save materials by grouping things together.  Stephan and I use the same file system and since it’s purely alphabetical without many sub-categories it doesn’t take us long to find the other’s stuff even if it’s not exactly how we’d do it ourselves.  Currently it’s not the prettiest, but it’s very functional, so we’re happy.  Another important thing to remember is that NO ACTIONABLE ITEMS get FILED!  It is a reference system.  Things that have actions attached to them should not get buried here.
2. My Personal Diary (Calendar).  My wallet also has a calendar in it so I have it with me at all times.  I used to have a Palm, but I prefer paper now.  The calendar is used in the obvious ways, but I also use it for my nightly planning.  I write down those essential tasks for the next day with a box next to each item so I can check them off as I go.  This leaves quite a cluttered look, but only for the past.  Future events are clear.
3. The Tickler: A box of 43 “manila” folders labeled for each day of the month and each month of the year that sits on my desk immediately handy and visible.  There is then always a separate folder for day 30 days from now and each month 12 months from now, which for me is plenty for filing any date-specific papers that come in.  I’m a stickler about the Tickler.  Except for some things in the coming week I ONLY use it for DATE-SPECIFIC events.  I do not want my tickler getting filled with “hope to get to” items and nasty “you have to do this day” surprises that would make me not want to check it religiously.  It doesn’t work if you don’t check it every day, so I didn’t want to set myself up for failure.  I check the tickler every evening for the next day.  I have a paperclip on the following Monday so I can easily see the days of the week for the next week.  On good days I take care of each piece of paper, on bad days the planning consists of dumping the tickler contents into my inbox and heading off to bed. Examples of good tickler items are:

1)      Invitations to events that include directions or other information that I’ll need on the day but not before.  The date is in my calendar so I know it’s coming up, but the relevant papers are making a mess of my desk asking to be lost before I need them.  When the date approaches there’s what I need neat and ready.

2)      Bills. Stephan uses his tickler to collect all the incoming bills because he always pays them on a certain day.  He doesn’t waste time logging into e-banking every time a bill comes in and he doesn’t miss bills because the tickler reminds him of his “bill day” with a stack of bills that are easy to enter in all at once.

3)      Photos and other “pick-me-ups”.  I have photos of loved ones that I haven’t framed but I don’t want to get rid of.  Stephan had the brilliant idea of dropping them randomly in my tickler for happy reminders in the future.  They brighten my day but don’t add to the “to do” list.

4)      “This about this later.”  This can be dangerous, but there are some things that are not appropriate for now but that might become relevant later.  Information about theater productions in Luzern might be better filed in the general reference system so I can get to it whenever it strikes me, even though I don’t think I’ll have a chance for a while because of children, but a gardening catalogue might be a good thing to put in the tickler a few months before spring to remind me to order seeds and plan the garden.  BE CAREFUL!  The tickler has 43 places for papers to get lost, so don’t put anything in a random spot that you might want to reference at some other time – it’s awfully difficult to find something in all of those papers!

5)      I do use the tickler for some “hope to” items when planning a week in advance.  I have recurring cards for laundry and vacuuming, phone calls and prayer requests that aren’t exactly date-dependent, but I want to get to with some frequency.  For example, I have a card called “Joseph Swim” and after each swim I record the date on the back of the card so I have an easy record and then toss it in the next few days when I think I’ll be able to take him again.  I like the sense of accomplishment making check marks gives me, so I love writing the date as a sort of “check” and seeing at a glance how often we’ve swum.  If I had a log on the computer it would be another thing to procrastinate on.

(Part III explains Action Lists and Project Folders and sums things up)

Photos

The end and beginning of the year are full of celebrations for us: birthdays, anniversaries of weddings and baptisms, and this year, January 1^st also marks the second full year of using a Tickler system.  I check it faithfully every evening before bed and have never fallen behind.  GTD (Getting Things Done) and Flylady came into play later (2010 and 2011 respectively) but with these three elements my life is most significantly easier, more organized, and most importantly or me, more peaceful psychologically.  I used to refuse to go out and have fun because I had to “just get my head together” and by that I mean somehow figure out just what I have to do and how I’m going to get it done.  No matter what I did I still ended up stressed and not having my “head together.”  I could enjoy time off only by suppressing the worry I always carried inside me that I was missing something very important somewhere in the piles of papers and scribbled “To Do” lists lying scattered here and there.  My desk was never clean, and my room hardly either.  I did not enjoy this state, but frantic “I can’t stand this anymore” clean-ups would quickly deteriorate into chaos once more.  I wish I could go into all the psychological aspects of living a disorganized life and switching to an organized one, but I doubt I could sufficiently express it, that too many people would be interested in it, and besides, this post will be quite too long enough as it is.

This is a post written mostly for my own reference.  I’ve documented how I organize and run my life so I can look back later and see how things have changed and improved.  If you are interested in such details, read on.  Otherwise, feel no guilt in skipping.

Important Ideas to Live By

1. A place for everything and everything in its place.  It’s a great saying, but finding a place for everything is the main challenge for me.  GTD inspired the idea that there should be a place for EVERYTHING, even the smallest scrap of paper, and helped me find ways to make a logical place for each thing.  Also, it helps MAKE me make a place for everything.  Not everything is in its ideal place yet, but everything is in the “system” and has a safe place for now (i.e. no important papers sitting in a random pile).
2. Babysteps.  Break everything down into the smallest psychological step.  It might sound inefficient, but when procrastination, fear, and a guilty conscience are at play, the only way to keep a mole hill from becoming a mountain is to break everything down into babysteps.
3. Do right away that which does not get easier with time.  In other words, clean up after yourself right away (prime example: dishes).  Even if you have to make the baby wait.  Better yet, make the baby help you clean up the toys before naptime, then you have clean floors the moment he’s down for his nap!  It also makes the morning Quick Sweep a breeze – and now my floors are always clean!  (My Quick Sweep is a dance with the broom as fast as I can in the main traffic areas.  It takes less than 10 minutes and gets rid of 90% of the dirt and dust. Thanks Flylady!)
4. Don’t do something right away just because you can.  Get it all in your system first, then you know what’s to be done and can judge with a clear mind what is the best use of your time at the moment.  It also makes schedule rest and rejuvenation possible.
5. Good enough is better than perfect.  A difficult concept at first, this is “perfect” advice for a perfectionist.  Ask yourself, just how well does this task need to be completed?  What is the minimum effort that will be “good enough.”  Save your energy and perfectionism for things that really count.
6. You can’t organize clutter.  From Flylady: don’t organize it, get rid of it!  As I cleaned up I used to think “what could I use this for?” and now I think “can I possible do without this?” and it has made it so much easier to pare down our possessions to a manageable amount in the small space we have.
7. Make it run by itself.  Think once, then go on autopilot.  Get the mundane running along with minimal effort so you can put your mind and soul into important things.  Housecleaning routines like the Quick Seep and Swish and Swipe (a 2 minute bathroom job) in the morning keep the house “company ready in 15 minutes” (Flylady), are easy to keep up once they are habit, and treat your family (and yourself) to clean house all the time.  What a gift!  The GTD system does the same for managing maintenance in other parts of life.
8. Never do for a child what he can do for himself. –Glenn Doman  This helps me remember to ask myself, “Can Joseph do this himself?” and to take the time and patience to give him the chance to try.  Now at 18 months he can pick up his toys (still with help, but sometimes without being asked), eat with a fork or spoon, dump his potty in the toilet and flush, help with the laundry, and other things that will soon save me lots of time and effort.  Without this saying, it’s just easier to do it myself – but what a trap that will be later on in life!
9. Open your eyes.  I don’t know what to call this one, but Flylady’s challenge to always keep my sink shiny did the eye-opening trick for me.  My sister once said that one difference between a ‘cleany’ and a ‘messy’ (I don’t know the book she got it from) was that if something is out of place it starts to blend into the surroundings for a ‘messy’ until she no longer sees it, but for a ‘cleany’ it sticks out more and more each day.  How do you train yourself to see?  That is a tough one.  Somehow having a beautiful sink and knowing that I’d have to wipe it down every evening before bed made me see the dirty dishes better (crazy?) and that lead to wanting to get them done sooner and success with a pretty sink led to my eyes being opened on all fronts.  I don’t keep a very shiny sink anymore, but its done its duty (thanks, Flylady).

Part II Comming Soon (I hope)

Part III

Photos

Things we are thankful for in some particular order:

1. Christ’s coming to earth!  Hallejula!  We had a wonderful Christmas day with family.  Little did I know that that first gift I got that morning was a virus from the train bathroom . . .
2. On the second day of Christmas I was extremely grateful for the loving care I got from my husband and in-laws as they looked after me while in intestinal distress and entertained my son.  They even let us spend an extra night because I could not fathom a train or car ride.  In the evening I was feeling better Stephan was coming down with it and I a relapse and so we went to the hospital worrying about the baby having enough fluids.  At the hospital we got lots of questions and
3. IV fluids and learned the baby was doing just fine.  They wanted to keep me over night, but I didn’t think that was necessary, and I’m glad I didn’t because the next morning poor Joseph had diarrhea and I’m thankful I was there and that there’s such a thing as
4. disposable diapers for awful messes like that.  I was well enough to start looking after my now sick husband and my sick son who hardly showed any signs of being sick except that he had to “poo pee poo” frequently.  He usually told us after, not before a bout, but for the first time he went on a normal toilet.  I’m glad my stomach was settled enough for that – but I think I’m getting into too much detail.
5. By evening we were all well enough to thankfully accept a ride home from Stephan’s dad, which cut the trip in half and made it much, much easier on our systems.
6. We are terribly sorry for the family members we passed this Christmas gift on to, but we are extremely thankful that we didn’t infect everyone!
7. Last but not least we are all very grateful for returned health.

Merry Christmas, everyone!

There are many thoughts flying about my head, but Joseph’s nap won’t last forever and there are more important things to do, like prepare ourselves to welcome the Savior of the world.

But Stephan’s 7-takes lead me to an article which I think is as important as it is horrifying: Mother’s who decide not to be mothers anymore.  Full-time mothering is tough no matter what outside commitments you have.  It’s difficult to express all that goes into it being a very demanding and stressful job, especially when it’s much better to focus on all the joys it brings.  Yet I think it’s dangerous to underplay the difficulties to women who are not yet mothers.  They need to count the cost.  Examples of women who found it to be too much to give up their careers and so much time and energy can be a good way to hit home the sobering truth of just how tough a job it is without having to whine all the time trying to express it.  It can also be an encouragement and warning to current mothers: don’t take on more than you can handle outside the home.  Your work inside is of infinite importance and is not “nothing” but requires an incredible amount of energy and strength – even if people around you don’t ever “get it.”

Things Joseph is thankful for in no particular order:

1. Snow
2. Mommy
3. Daddy
4. Chances to be outside
5. The ball playground at the shopping center
6. Our advent calendar (what fun to open and shut the doors!)
7. ninganinganinga (or “mittens” in English)